“I just got off the phone with Mariah Carey, and she thinks that Dick Clark Productions sabotaged my monologue.” – Jimmy Fallon’s quip after his TelePrompTer failed during the Golden Globes monologue.
Awards season is finally here. Popular opinion is that the Golden Globes are a barometer for the Oscars. If that’s the case, then it should be a pretty cheery couple months for “La La Land”. Does anyone light up a room more than Goldie Hawn – whether or not she knows she’s there? Did John Travolta have to leave early to go to work as a maitre d’ at a gay restaurant? Shouldn’t Sofia Vergara always be Miss Golden Globes? Am I the only one who wants to see “My Life as a Zucchini”? And, how do you call the three daughters of Jennifer Flavin “talented”?
I had a fun-filled night at the Globes schmoozing with friends, both old and new. I spent some time on the red carpet with the twins – Gary and Larry Lane. Then I almost tripped over Sylvester Stallone – boy, is he short! Ryan Gosling was the first person to slip out moments after the awards ended. I caught up with “King Cobra” star Garrett Clayton in the lobby. At the fabulous HBO party, Nicole Kidman literally walked through the press line, got her photo taken, and dashed out the other end. Ditto Sarah Jessica Parker and Reese Witherspoon. Lea Thompson is always a breath of fresh air. Niecy Nash in red never disappoints. Yvette Nicole Brown was stunning in bronze. But I ditched all of them the moment Dame Joan Collins made her entrance.
I laughed with “Project Runaway” alum Blake Patterson. Shared a quiet moment of reflection with Joely Fisher (who was both “proud and sad” that the Golden Globes broke tradition and honored the passing of Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher). Then I ran into sexy Justin Hartley and we somehow started talking about where we first met. For years, I have told people I met him in Kathy Griffin’s kitchen (two houses ago). Justin said, “I don’t think so – I’ve never been to her house.” He thinks she may have been with us at some awards show or party.
British diver Tom Daley recently revealed that when he met now-fiancé Dustin Lance Black, he had not seen the writer’s 2009 Academy Award-winning film “Milk”. “It was a good eight weeks after I met Lance that I watched ‘Milk’. He actually made me watch it on a train ride home from London to Plymouth the first time that he came over.” Look, I’m all for being proud of your work. But I don’t know it’s a great way to start a new relationship by making someone do anything – except for in bed, naturally. But DLB is all about making people do things. He recently told “Attitude” magazine, “I have no respect for someone who lies about their sexuality.”
Olympic champion Greg Louganis made history as the first openly gay Grand Marshal of the Rose Parade on New Year’s Day. But it didn’t go off without incident. “When I was introduced…well, there were some boos. It actually made me feel proud, as I am who I am and will not back down from that or apologize for that.” It should be added that during the parade, the AIDS Healthcare Foundation had a float remembering the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting. At a certain point, they released 49 doves – one for each of the victims. I don’t think anyone booed that.
No one is exempt from discrimination. But bon vivant Bruce Vilanch says that he’s experienced it from an unlikely source – the writer of the Broadway hit “Hamilton”. After seeing the show, Vilanch had what he thought was a great idea – he could play the role of King George III! In the original cast, the role was played by our very own Jonathan Groff, but the conceit for the show is color-blind and non-traditional casting, so why not? Vilanch shared this anecdote on RuPaul’s holiday podcast. “I went back and saw Lin-Manuel and said, ‘I want to play the King. One costume, three songs that are all the same and no stairs to climb? I’m in.’ He said, ‘We have a casting concept.’ And of course the casting concept is everybody is hot – everybody is young and hot! There’s no old Ben Franklin wobbling across the stage.” So I was curious about the real King George. During the American Revolution, he was actually in his 30s. Once he hit his 40s, George started exhibiting signs of the hereditary disorder porphyria. This led to him gaining weight, developing gout and, eventually, going mad. So there is a historical precedent for a somewhat plus-sized King George. And nowhere in my research did I see him referred to as a KILF!
When it’s an honor to simply be nominated, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. I’d tell you more, but I’m exhausted, my feet are killing me, and I still have to update www.BillyMasters.com – the site that never sleeps. If you’d like to reach out and touch me, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I figure out who the f%#k I met in Kathy Griffin’s kitchen! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.