Not even ¨A One Minute Man¨
|Written by Woody Miller on December 03 2012|
In our relationship I’m the raging top and my boyfriend’s the power bottom. Perfect fit, huh? Except for one thing: I’m a two-pump chump. I don’t last but a minute or two once I penetrate him. I’m mortified and humiliated but nothing I’ve tried seems to help. My boyfriend’s been supportive but I know he’s frustrated as hell, too. Lately, I’ve tried distracting myself while I’m inside him--counting backwards from 100, picturing dead cats, your past columns, that sort of thing. Obviously, it ain’t working. How do I go from two-pump chump to three-time champ?
-- Premature Man
First, let’s put this in context. Studies show the average man lasts 5 minutes during intercourse. So even if you only last a couple of minutes you’re halfway to average.
Premature ejaculation (or PE) is defined as the inability to consciously control or choose when to climax. It’s the most common male sexual dysfunction. About 30% of men complain about it. The other 70% complain about not finding anyone to prematurely ejaculate on.
The most important issue in overcoming PE is identifying and avoiding the point of “ejaculatory inevitability.” That’s the point where your heave is going to ho. It’s when you haven’t come but you’re about to and nothing can stop it. Not even New Jersey governor Chris Christie walking in with a thong.
First, a quick lesson on sex: There are 5 stages. Well, six if you count kicking the jerk out. Here’s the breakdown:
1. Desire (Wanting him worse than JFK wanted a roof on his car)
2. Arousal (an erection you can fly a flag off of)
3. Plateau (a sense of being drenched with pleasure—the kind you get with any movie starring Brad Pitt)
4. Orgasm (the technical term for the phrase “Oh, God I’m coming”)
5. Resolution (your dick goes down, you show him the door).
PEr’s basically skip #3, the plateau, where all the action is. They rush to the detonation, in part because they’re not aware of the subtle cues leading to orgasm. Use the Stop/Start/Pace Method to stay in the plateau stage. Here’s how: