“I really like you, Ryan. Don’t listen to a thing she says.” – Maggie Griffin expresses her devotion to Ryan Seacrest on the Emmy red carpet. Mags, are you trying to kill Kathy right there? Yeah, let’s see if he springs for a box of wine and some Dixie cups! Holly1


hollywood1“I really like you, Ryan. Don’t listen to a thing she says.” – Maggie Griffin expresses her devotion to Ryan Seacrest on the Emmy red carpet. Mags, are you trying to kill Kathy right there? Yeah, let’s see if he springs for a box of wine and some Dixie cups!

As I promised/threatened, I slipped back to Provincetown to see Randy Roberts and Tom Judson. No, not together, silly. Both were finishing up their runs at the Art House Theater and I didn’t want to miss them. To call Key West’s own Randy Roberts a celebrity impersonator would diminish his gifts as a singer. The voice is simply a marvel and is as strong and vibrant as ever. And, damn, he looks great in a dress. But he ain’t resting on his laurels. He’s still shaking things up. Who else would dare to open a segment with Cher singing the Shirley Bassey version of Pink’s “Get This Party Started”? And he pulls it off! He’s even added a short Lady Gaga bit that is dead-on. More than anything else, Randy is at his best when he’s simply being Randy. Catch him when he comes to a city near you.


I have never been so happy to NOT be included in a show as I was when I saw Tom Judson’s “Canned Ham.” Let me explain. During Judson’s career as gay porn star Gus Mattox, he had been nominated for (and lost) a number of Gay Adult Video Awards – of which I am a judge. Somewhere in the middle of the 2006 ceremony, we were chatting at the buffet (we were the only two eating). Although he was nominated in a few remaining categories, he planned to leave early and avoid the crowd. “I never win these things anyway.” With that, I told him how well-liked he was within the industry and by the judges. I sincerely felt he deserved recognition and personally voted for him. But when I campaigned for him, several judges (most of whom are significantly older than moi) said, “I love Gus, but I can’t vote for that old man.” Ok, perhaps it was the wrong moment to share this information, but I wanted him to know that I tried.


P.S. He ended up staying till the end, which was fortunate. When the last award of the evening was given out, he was named “Performer of the Year.” Judson is charming and enormously talented – a combination that is perfectly reflected in his solo show. He’s a gifted raconteur who has several important stories to tell. And, I suspect, several more awards to win.


Speaking of awards, I skipped the Emmys this year. I know, I know – I never miss an awards show. But with it being scheduled so early, I simply couldn’t fit it in. Luckily I had spies texting me all night. The pre-shows have become incredibly lackluster, making one almost wistful for the days of Joan Rivers. This year’s official pre-show achieved new lows with co-hosts Nate Berkus and Maria Menounos. I don’t believe there’s anyone less funny or spontaneous than Nate. No offense, but he’s not what I’d call a laugh riot. And my darling Maria – she was stuck in the theatre to allegedly speak with celebrities. Of course, an hour before the show began, she’s standing with ushers and seat fillers. Towards the end, people are knocking her over rushing to their seats. Ridiculous.


The current issue of “Harper’s Bazaar” features Calvin Klein interviewing Marc Jacobs. One of the things CK asks about is Jacobs being naked in his ads. Marc explains that four years ago he was in terrible health – he hadn’t walked more than a block in 20 years, had a diet of junk food and was constantly in the hospital with colitis. His doctor wanted to remove his colon. Marc looked into alternatives. He hired a nutritionist who put him on a strict diet and exercise regime. It was a slow process, but when his body fat dropped from 21 percent to 5 percent, guys started asking him out (we’re a shallow group, us gays). Then people at photo sessions asked if he would consider showing some skin. He said, “Sure! I haven’t worked out for the last three years to keep this all under wraps.”


Which leads perfectly into our “Ask Billy” question, which was posted on the Fan Forum of BillyMasters.com. Someone named Monk asks: “Did you see the photo on Page Six of Calvin Klein walking down the street with some twink described as his partner? Partner in what?”


That is the question isn’t it? The “twink” is 20-year-old aspiring model Nick Gruber. He and the 67-year-old Klein have allegedly been inseparable this summer and have walked the red carpet à deux at several events – including a party at Donna Karan’s place in the Hamptons. Nick has done some modeling (in as little as possible) and is listed on a model website as Nick London. On his Facebook page he’s called Nick Oo. And on NextDoorMale.com, he’s Aaron Skyline. Ah, yes, there’s always a porn connection. In addition to solo videos, he’s also in a gay orgy on NextDoorBuddies.com. There are also a couple of scenes with women on NextDoorHookUps.com. Then a solo scene for SeanCody.com. Then, poof, there he is getting serviced on MasonWyler.com. Then…well, you get the idea. He’s a busy boy. He’s also undergone somewhat of a makeover since hooking up with the tasteful atelier. Teeth, nose, and hair have all been “spruced up.” It’s like a whole new person, which is good since the old person with all those aforementioned credits seems to have vanished from the web since this revelation. But have no fear – you can see every inch of him on BillyMasters.com.


When the only thing coming between Calvin and his boy is foreskin, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. What? Too much information? A picture is worth a thousand words, and since we’ve hit our word quota, we’ll have to post some pics on BillyMasters.com. I’m off to Fort Lauderdale for the next two weeks, but always available to answer your questions. So send an e-mail to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before the Emmys add a gay porn category! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.



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