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“I put it on him. Someone had to show him, you know.” – Alexander Skarsgard talks about helping co-star Joseph Manganiello put on his first “cock sock” – a piece of clothing to protect a male actor’s modesty. And it’s always fun when you get others involved.

The steamy weather plaguing the country tells me it’s tank top season – although friends will swear that I called mid-January tank top season. I was thrilled to see a new crop of ribbed tank tops at H&M.

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“I put it on him. Someone had to show him, you know.” – Alexander Skarsgard talks about helping co-star Joseph Manganiello put on his first “cock sock” – a piece of clothing to protect a male actor’s modesty. And it’s always fun when you get others involved.

The steamy weather plaguing the country tells me it’s tank top season – although friends will swear that I called mid-January tank top season. I was thrilled to see a new crop of ribbed tank tops at H&M. The problem is that sizes at this store are never consistent – it’s some freaky metric conversion that I haven’t quite grasped. This means I usually have to try everything on – except last time I did this the store was about to close and I had to make a fast decision. I couldn’t figure out if I needed the small or the medium. I decided on the medium with some trepidation, because nothing is worse than a loose ribbed tank top. I went to the cashier and mentioned that I just wasn’t sure about the size – thinking it was obvious that I might be too petite for a medium. Apparently she didn’t share my concern, as she off-handedly quipped, “Oh, don’t worry – these stretch out quite a bit!” And this is why we hate Sweden.

Usually I save the more salacious items for the end of the column, but I’m gonna hit you with some nudity right off the bat. I’ve had a long-running Facebook flirtation with a former South Florida resident. You may recognize Stefan Pinto from TV and print items that documented his amazing transformation from a big fat pig to someone with one of the most enviable physiques around. He has a website, StefanPinto.com, where he gives workout and nutrition advice in addition to selling his book, “From Fat To Fit” – which I bet would really throw that H&M bitch for a loop. Stefan told me that he’s currently in the play “Lavender Love” at West Hollywood’s Macha Theatre in the role of Rudolph Valentino. Stefan’s smoldering good looks actually surpass those of the legendary Latin lover. I told him to send me some details and I’d be happy to plug him…as it were. Moments later, I click on my e-mail and BOOM, I’m knocked out by a semi-hard penis jutting out from his spectacular nude body. Now I wish I were flying back to LA! Alas, his penis does not appear onstage. I ask if I can run the photo on BillyMasters.com. He says, “I know better than to send a nude pic to a gossip columnist and not expect him to use it.” Consider yourself plugged…

Since we’re talking LA, my buddy Andy Zeffer’s book “Going Down in La-La Land” was made into a flick, which is currently playing the gay film festival circuit. While I haven’t seen it yet, I can certainly attest to the physical charms of leading man Matthew Ludwinski – who plays an actor who gets involved in gay porn and escorting. Judging from the full-frontal nude photos of him, which you can also see on BillyMasters.com, I predict that he’ll have a BIG career.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Wade in Houston who asks: “Who is Duncan James? I saw a really hot pic of him online and he’s called a ‘singer’, but I’ve never heard of him. He’s gorgeous.”

Duncan James was a member of the British boyband “Blue” – and they were HUGE for about three years. After their breakup, several of the lads (including James) released solo albums. But Duncan transitioned to musical theatre, appearing in the West End production of “Chicago”. This impressed people enough to cast him as the male lead in “Legally Blonde” – which I did see, and found him to be charismatic and, obviously, gorgeous. As to his personal life, he is the father to a little girl who he had with a girlfriend back in 2005. But since then, he’s come out as bisexual: “I want to be out and say I’ve had relationships with men as well as women.” Because that’s what the British do. As to the photo Wade is talking about, I think I can identify it as yet another one of those semi-nude photos that men take in mirrors with their iPhones (again, “God Bless Apple”). In this pic, Duncan is nude, save for the skimpiest of undies that show off every inch of his delectable anatomy – and he certainly has nothing to be ashamed of. James says he sent the snap to a friend “who is quite fat…so he could pretend he’d got really fit. It must have got into the wrong hands via Twitter.” That’s one excuse. To me, it looks more like a photo someone would post on Manhunt or any number of sites used to cruise for sex. But whatever the circumstances, I’m just glad I saw it. And you’ll be glad to see it too, on BillyMasters.com

Lastly, let’s file this one under “Strange Bedfellows.” Recently, openly gay Hollywood power players Dustin Lance Black and Gus Van Sant were spotted dining at Bottega Louie in LA. Nothing strange about that – the two have been friends and colleagues long before collaborating on “Milk.” But, wait, there was a third seat at the table. Enter Taylor Lautner – so apparently chicken was on the menu. Certainly this dinner could have been completely professional and innocent. It’s also possible that at some point the question of posing nude came up and someone whipped out a camera. The possibilities are endless.

When I’m picturing Taylor sprawled out on a dessert cart (possibly flambe), it’s definitely time to end yet another column. And with that, I’m off – out of the country for God knows how long. You can keep track of my travails on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s always a la carte! If you’ve got a question that you’d like to share with the class, raise your hand and send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before H&M hires me as their new spokesmodel! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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