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hollywood-cantone-humphries-groff-0“Skinny little twinks like him. He doesn’t like the bears, that would be my guess.” – Chaz Bono tells Joy Behar what he thinks “Dancing With The Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli’s type is. I am SO excited that someone can be in their mid-50s and still be considered a “twink” – this means I’ve got 10 more years…at least! But would you really consider Chaz a “bear”?

hollywood-cantone-humphries-groff-1“Skinny little twinks like him. He doesn’t like the bears, that would be my guess.” – Chaz Bono tells Joy Behar what he thinks “Dancing With The Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli’s type is. I am SO excited that someone can be in their mid-50s and still be considered a “twink” – this means I’ve got 10 more years…at least! But would you really consider Chaz a “bear”?

So Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have broken up. While I say who cares, people do. In fact, quite a large group of people on Facebook have cited this travesty as an argument to legalize gay marriage. And maybe they’re right. After all, how many gay men and women do we know who have moved in with someone they barely knew because they were sure this was “the one”? Or the person who uproots themselves and moves to another city after spending several idyllic days with a virtual stranger on a gay cruise? Trust me, if gay marriage were legal, we’d be hearing about many marriages that fizzle just shy of the 72-day mark. Here’s a thought – perhaps we should align ourselves with lawyers. After all, they’ll make a fortune on all the gay divorces!

In happier news, the hysterical Mario Cantone (who grew up literally 5 minutes away from moi) recently wed Jerry Dixon, his partner for the past 20 years. Take that, Kim!

To recap that story about Taylor Lautner’s dinner with Gus Van Sant and Dustin Lance Black, it actually was all business. Lautner optioned a non-fiction story that appeared in “The New Yorker” and is making it into a film that will be directed by Van Sant. So when you think about it, it was Taylor who was wooing Gus — an ironic twist to the original speculation. Perhaps Lance will write the script. I’m sure he wants a piece of this action.

We’ve previously told you that “Days of Our Lives” was planning to have the character “Will Horton” come out. We now can confirm that storyline will be on the front burner when it hits around Thanksgiving. This means we’ll have sexy Chandler Massey and newcomer Freddie Smith to help fill the void that daytime devotees have felt since the demise of “NuKe” on “As The World Turns”.

There’s been a lot of buzz recently about actor Luke Evans, who is in “The Three Musketeers” and the upcoming “Immortals.” When he was appearing on the London stage in Boy George’s musical “Taboo” almost a decade ago, he gave an interview to “The Advocate” where he talked very candidly about his sexuality. He made it quite clear that while his character in the musical was straight, he was openly gay. However, last year an overseas paper linked Evans with a woman he brought with him to a premiere. When “The Advocate” reached out to Luke’s reps for an update, they were told that the actor would like his work to speak for itself and that he will no longer address his personal life in the media. Of course, this isn’t Luke making any statement, so it should be ingested with a healthy amount of salt. But take it along with what Paris Barclay recalls about doing the 2002 interview – which he also recorded: “I can’t help but believe those were his true feelings at the time, but for the record, I haven’t spoken to him since and a lot can happen in nine years. Obviously, a lot has.” A lot, indeed.

I’m sure you all recall the play about Katharine Hepburn called “Tea at Five”, written by my bon ami Matthew Lombardo. The role of Miss Hepburn has been tackled by many formidable actresses, but here’s one you may not have seen coming – Charles Busch! Yes, the divine Charles will be playing Hepburn (to the hilt, I’d expect) in a one-night-only staged reading. This is a benefit for the Ali Forney Center, which provides housing for LGBT homeless youths (and was the primary beneficiary in Bea Arthur’s will). This special event will take place on November 28th at the Lucille Lortel Theatre in NYC and I wouldn’t miss it. Get tickets at TeaAtFive.org.

Last year I said that there was no way Brooke Shields would be taking the new musical “Leap of Faith” to Broadway. When it debuted last year in LA, it got raves for everything from the book to the score to the direction to the cast… except for Brooke Shields. The reviews might as well have said, “If you want this show to have a prayer on Broadway, dump Pretty Baby.” But no one wanted to do that – she’s America’s sweetheart. Well, she was at one time. As the show continues its journey towards the Great White Way, Brooke withdrew due to “prior film and television commitments”. I’m curious – how long does it take to film one of those Latisse commercials?

This week’s “Ask Billy” question comes from Joey in Biloxi, MS: “I understand Jonathan Groff went full frontal in ‘Twelve Thirty’. Do you have any footage or photos of that?”

I’m sure some of you may not be able to place Jonathan Groff. My theatre fans will know him from “Spring Awakening” on Broadway. Indy film buffs will recognize him from “Taking Woodstock”. However, most of you will know him from his short stint on “Glee” as Jesse St. James – a role he will return to later this season. Anyway, “Twelve Thirty” made the round of film festivals earlier this year and will soon be released on DVD. When talking about the director’s style, the “New York Times” said this: “His uninhibited, compulsively talkative characters are likely to remove their clothes at the drop of a hat and to carry on intense personal conversations while naked.” This would explain the cache of photos that appeared on my computer of Mr. Groff in the buff, who looks quite delectable indeed. Check him out on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m trying to figure out how to drop a hat the next time I run into Jonathan, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that tells all. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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