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hollywood-williams-boring-0“They ask me every year, and I just can’t do it. I tell them why: ‘You guys keep saying every year you’re going to get A-list people and then it’s the girl that was with George Clooney!'” – Jenny McCarthy explains why she keeps turning down offers to appear on “Dancing With The Stars”. When Jenny McCarthy thinks she’s too good for your show, you’re in trouble.

hollywood-williams-boring-1“They ask me every year, and I just can’t do it. I tell them why: ‘You guys keep saying every year you’re going to get A-list people and then it’s the girl that was with George Clooney!'” – Jenny McCarthy explains why she keeps turning down offers to appear on “Dancing With The Stars”. When Jenny McCarthy thinks she’s too good for your show, you’re in trouble.

Billy’s back in Hollywood and already overbooked. In fact, I came back a few days early just so I could settle in before the craziness starts. The week this column hits the street, I’ll be attending the Cybersocket Awards, the People’s Choice Awards, the Golden Globe Awards, and the Miss America Pageant. Oh, the glitz, the glamour, the gayety…the sashes! It’s almost an embarrassment of riches.

The only person who could possibly out-gay my schedule is Johnny Weir. But he’s got news of his own. On New Year’s Eve, the skater and his boyfriend Victor Vornov got married in NYC. Weir revealed the news via Twitter, which is how everyone makes announcements these days: “I’m married! No more livin’ in sin!” Being Johnny Weir, he’s not gonna settle for some little civil ceremony. He’s planning a big splashy wedding in the summer.

And as we went to press, a BIG announcement was made – Kristy McNichol is a lesbian. That’s breaking news? Have I stumbled into a time warp? What year is it? 1976? Happy Bicentennial!

For years, people have speculated about Robbie Williams’ sexuality. The once and future “Take That” singer has certainly done a lot to fuel the speculation. And now he’s saying he’s available – for a price. When asked how much it would cost for him to have sex with a man, he priced the experience at two million pounds, or roughly $3 million. He did say he’d negotiate for Brad Pitt. In fact, he added, “It’s a freebie for Brad Pitt. How much would I have to pay HIM?” And now we know…

Most of the cast of the film version of “Les Miserables” has been announced. As you probably know, Hugh Jackman is playing Jean Valjean, Russell Crowe is set for Javert, and Anne Hathaway will be Fantine. Sexy Aaron Tveit (from “Next To Normal” and “Catch Me If You Can” on Broadway) will play Enjolras and Sacha Baron Cohen will play Thenardier. Now we hear that Amanda Seyfried will play Cosette and Taylor Swift will play Eponine. Mon Dieu!

Who have I left out? Oh, yes, Eddie Redmayne will be playing Marius. You’ll probably recognize him from “My Week With Marilyn”. While researching the sexy Brit, I found out that he’s done some smaller films where he’s shown his naughty bits. Some of these films are hard to come by in the States, but they’re front and center on BillyMasters.com

Before leaving this story completely, let me congratulate Jackman, who just wrapped up his one-man show on Broadway and broke quite a number of records. First, it garnered the highest weekly gross ever recorded in Broadway history. And it raised over $1.75 million for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS!

You know how they say when you sleep with someone, you’re sleeping with everyone they ever slept with? Well, I guess I now can say I’ve sexted with Anthony Weiner! I just got an e-mail from his online buddy, Traci Nobles, and that’s leading to my first retraction of the New Year. Actually, it’s not so much of a retraction as a “clarification”. I recently recounted a story where the lovely Miss Nobles discussed texts from Weiner asking about having a three-way – preferably with another guy. I also reported that Traci would be discussing this and other juicy tidbits in a book she’s working on. WELL…not quite. I’ll let her clear it up herself: “Anthony Weiner is not gay, the information published recently regarding a threesome with another man is not information that will be in the book, ‘I Friended You’. The book is a satirical story about the incident involving myself, Weiner, and the other women as well. I’m apologetic that this speculation and rumor is even out there. I just wanted to somehow defend him if I could. I would appreciate any help in passing this information along.” Consider it passed….

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Stan in Kansas City: “I heard that one of the guys on ‘Top Chef’ either posed nude or did porn or something like that. Do you know anything about that?”

Which season? It seems someone on “Top Chef” always turns up naked somewhere! This season we have Ty-Lör Boring…and let me say that this is the first time in 16 years that an umlaut has popped up in my column! Boring appears to be anything but (sorry, I had to). He’s posed nude in a couple of magazines. Last year he dropped trou for “Butt” magazine – obviously showing his posterior. More recently, he revealed a different side of himself in an issue of “Headmaster” – which I believe is self-explanatory. Both pics can be found on BillyMasters.com

When I’m in the middle of sexting with Anthony Weiner and trying to figure out if anyone on “Top Chef” is an actual top, it’s definitely time for me to end yet another column. Plus, I have more important things to do – like plan outfits for these four big events. What I want to convey is respectability, sexy, slim, trashy, youthful, sophisticated, older, and powerful…all at the same time. I think the answer may lie in one word – crotchless. Maybe I’ll post some options on www.BillyMasters.com – the site with unlimited options. If you’ve got suggestions, send it along to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I dress my age (so you’ve got a while). Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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