hollywood-jolie-bailey-bullock-0“Can I confide in you? I’m wearing shape-wear as well. They have it for men. If it makes you look slimmer and neater, why not?” – Tim Gunn shares a secret with Maya Rudolph on the Academy Awards red carpet. If it weren’t being broadcast live internationally, it might have been more of a secret.

hollywood-jolie-bailey-bullock-1“Can I confide in you? I’m wearing shape-wear as well. They have it for men. If it makes you look slimmer and neater, why not?” – Tim Gunn shares a secret with Maya Rudolph on the Academy Awards red carpet. If it weren’t being broadcast live internationally, it might have been more of a secret.

By now, you’ve all watched the Oscars – assuming you stayed awake. My Lord, just when you thought the show couldn’t get more boring, someone came up with the bright idea of not giving out an award anyone cared about for the first hour! These things never happened when Gil was alive.

It almost made me squeal with delight to see Angelina come strutting out in that ridiculous dress. I knew we were in trouble when her coral lipstick seemed to have been applied by Stevie Wonder. Then she straightened her dress, planted her hand on her hip, and stuck out her right leg – she looked like she was auditioning for the sequel to “Showgirls”. On anyone else, it might not have been such a pathetic moment. But this is Angelina Jolie, arguably one of the most sought-after actresses in the world, spousal-equivalent of one of the most beautiful men in the world. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn it wasn’t Angelina but, rather, her close namesake, Angelyne. Yes, that’s how tragic it was.

You may have heard that failed actress Sean Young (she’s just a statuette away from being Sally Kirkland) was placed under citizen’s arrest after trying to crash the Governors Ball and allegedly assaulting a security guard! But that wasn’t the best part. Earlier, she accosted a number of celebrities and tried to take photos with them – as if she were some pathetic fan…like me, for instance. Her “gets” were Glenn Close (clenching…and I know that pose), Sandra Bullock (looking almost sympathetic), and a bewildered Nick Nolte (who possibly expired when the camera flashed). But it was the photo of Sean between Brad Pitt and Angelina that is really priceless. Apparently, she saw the couple at the bar. She stormed over to say hi and reportedly told Angie, “Darling, we have the same hairdresser – and girls like us need help with our hair.” While Jolie was trying to figure out if that was an insult or a compliment, Sean snapped the photo and dashed!

When people win a big game or award, they often like to say, “I’m going to Disney”. But not Octavia Spencer. When asked what she’ll do after her Oscar win, she said, “I’m going to get my boobs lifted.” There’s an answer you don’t hear every day – and one which would have livened up the awards if she’d shared it from the stage. Spencer went on to say, “I figured going into my 40s, I want my boobs where they were when I was 17.”

Wondering why there’s no rush to replace Regis? I’ve been made privy to a sinister plot being hatched deep in the bowels of ABC: they want the show to fail! Ratings have dropped with Kelly Ripa left to helm the show with a slew of guest co-hosts. If this freefall continues, the show could be yanked…and that would be music to the ears of certain network execs. Why would they want one of their own shows to fail? Simple – for the time slot. When Katie Couric was wooed away from CBS, she was promised her own talk show. Problem is, ABC doesn’t have any space for it. It’s been widely presumed that “General Hospital”, the network’s sole daytime drama, would be the victim. But someone came up with an alternative. If “Live!” is cancelled, there’s an hour available. There are two scenarios being discussed: 1) “Katie” would air at 3PM with “GH” relegated to 9AM, or even better 2) “Katie” at 9AM, where she could woo her loyal “Today Show” fans. A win/win for everyone… except Kelly Ripa!

Cuba Gooding Jr. recently shared an amusing story. When he was shooting “Jerry McGuire”, he invited his father to visit the set. When he introduced dad to Tom Cruise, the elder Gooding said, “I love you man. Now, seriously, are you gay or not?” Tom laughed (nervously, I reckon) and said, “No”. Cuba Gooding Sr. was never seen again. OK, I made that last part up. But Junior did ban his dad from any future set visits. A smart move. Something like that could get you blacklisted in Hollywood.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Denny in Buffalo: “Ever since you wrote about ‘Femme Fatales’, I’ve gotten hooked – it’s really sexy and funny. I went back to watch earlier episodes and in the second show from season one, the guy sleeping with the nurse looks familiar. Plus he’s hot and nude. Do you know who he is?”

That would be Scott Bailey, who is now married to Adrienne Frantz – who appears to be the Renee Zelwegger of soap operas. You may remember Scott from “Prayers for Bobby” or, if you were a soap devotee, as Sandy on “Guiding Light”. He is most certainly gorgeous – and I can say that having seen him up close. Kinda like Matt Bomer – in fact, very much like Matt Bomer. I’d say more but, you know…lawsuits and all. He does indeed show quite a bit of skin on this episode – more than ever. I’ll post it so the rest of you can see it on BillyMasters.com

When Octavia Spencer’s next job might be reviving those old “Support Can Be Beautiful” commercials, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. There’s been a lot of travel the past week and I’m sure I’ll share many stories on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that, like its owner, never sleeps. If you need my immediate attention, just drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Sean Young gets a job with TMZ! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.


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