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hollywood-levy-walters-shelton-0“All I have to say is it’s true: I have a man crush on Adam. It blows me away people can pick up on that just by watching us on television. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad. I don’t care if it’s mutual or not.” – Blake Shelton admits his lustful desires for fellow “Voice” judge, Adam Levine.

hollywood-levy-walters-shelton-1“All I have to say is it’s true: I have a man crush on Adam. It blows me away people can pick up on that just by watching us on television. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad. I don’t care if it’s mutual or not.” – Blake Shelton admits his lustful desires for fellow “Voice” judge, Adam Levine.

I’m not a Roman Catholic, but believe me when I tell you I have nothing against this current Pope. He orders custom-made red sandals from Provincetown. Fine. He’s rumored to have been a Nazi. I saw “The DaVinci Code” – nothing surprises me. Or so I thought. Then I saw Pope Benedict XVI driving in the Popemobile to preside over a mass in Mexico while wearing a sombrero on his head! This was actually the second sombrero of his trip. He was presented with the first sombrero by a mariachi band the night before. Are you telling me this sandal-wearing Nazi Pope is doing shots with a mariachi band and then is riding down the streets of Guadalajara wearing a sombrero like he’s on Spring Break? It’s like “Popes Gone Wild” – show your tits and he’ll toss you a string of rosary beads! Next thing you know he’ll be inaugurating a wet vestments contest at St. Peter’s! I’m sure more than one cardinal is thinking, “That could really liven up midnight mass on Easter!”

I had no idea Barbara Walters was being sued. In her autobiography “Audition,” Walters discusses her daughter Jackie’s problems while attending the Wykeham Rise School, a boarding school in Connecticut. Here’s the passage in question: “Jackie had a new friend named Nancy, whom the school kicked out midterm for bad behavior. She and Jackie had been found in the nearby town, high on God-knows-what.” According to Nancy Shay, the drug use was “pure fiction” and that she, in fact, was having a lesbian romance with Walters’ daughter! She’s accused Babs of having her expelled from the school to thwart the Sapphic romance, and says Walters’ forced her to stay silent about the affair, saying, “You’ll ruin your name. Never mind, you’ll ruin my name and my daughter’s name.” Horrors! The presiding judge stated that since Nancy’s last name wasn’t printed in the book, very few people would know it was her and there was no defamation. Ironically, because of the suit, we now know even more than Walters wrote. Maybe Jackie can file her own defamation suit against Nancy!

You might think you’re immune to this type of disclosure because your mom isn’t Barbara Walters. Think again. Gay porn star Samuel Colt recently said how shocked he was when his mom called to ask if he was a gay male porn star. How’d she find out? Here’s his story: “She had had a date with a guy and he had stood her up. She wanted to entertain herself so she went to the adult bookstore to buy a dildo…..” Right there, blood would be coming out of my ears and I’d be screaming, “La-la-la-la-la.” But, Samuel continued to listen to his mother’s tawdry tale. “She decided to browse the gay magazines because she said that’s where the hottest guys always were. And there I was, on the cover of the magazine.” This story could only get worse if she bought the magazine – “to entertain herself”!

Remember when gay porn star Collin O’Neal was fired from his job as a substitute teacher here in Florida? Of course, he wasn’t working as Collin…he was Shawn Loftis. Regardless, he’s back at work. The education commission reversed its findings and he was reinstated. According to a widespread story that originated on a local Florida TV station’s website, “Loftis argued he wanted to guide students away from making the same mistakes he made.” I was concerned that he referred to his foray in gay porn as a “mistake”. It didn’t sound like Shawn, who I was quite close to at one time. Because you know I’m a stickler for details, I researched the story and discovered that he never used the word “mistake”. Here is his quote: “This is my past and I left it behind. I can use my experiences in life to teach kids.” What Shawn called his “experiences” someone else termed a “mistake.” Sadly, most people are not quite as tenacious as moi and the quote with the word “mistake” was used on most websites, including many news outlets and even Bill O’Reilly! So much for the No-Spin Zone!

It must be the unseasonably warm weather around the country that brought in a summer rerun to our “Ask Billy” mailbox. Patrick in Chicago asks: “My God – who is the hot Latino on ‘Dancing with the Stars’? He’s STUNNING! Tell me you’ve got some nude shots of him. Or even shirtless. Anything!”

Sometimes all I have to do is sit back and wait for you to catch up with me. When I told you about William Levy months ago after he did that music video with Jennifer Lopez, most of you couldn’t place him. So you probably didn’t bother going to www.BillyMasters.com to see the full-frontal nude photos of him….yes, penis and all. But something tells me you’ll be rushing over now to get a piece of him. And what a mighty fine piece it is.

When I’m praying for Levy to have a wardrobe malfunction, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. I keep thinking that at some point those photos of the Pope in a sombrero will resurface at a competency hearing at the Vatican. If that happens, you know I’ll cover it on www.BillyMasters.com. If you’ve got a question for me, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Samuel Colt’s mom decides to make a film of her own! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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