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tv Banner“You have to support so many households because YOU BROKE SO MANY HOUSEHOLDS, silly. You know, Melissa, that I did not give birth to these two children to give them away to your various staff members and girlfriends to raise.” – Tammy Lynn Michaels e-mails Melissa Etheridge how she feels about joint custody of the couple’s two children. Happily, the exes were able to work things out privately and out-of-court.

“You have to support so many households because YOU BROKE SO MANY HOUSEHOLDS, silly. You know, Melissa, that I did not give birth to these two children to give them away to your various staff members and girlfriends to raise.” – Tammy Lynn Michaels e-mails Melissa Etheridge how she feels about joint custody of the couple’s two children. Happily, the exes were able to work things out privately and out-of-court.

tv longBeing a die-hard royalist, I enjoyed every minute of Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee. That meant not relying on our limited domestic coverage. No siree. I was glued to the BBC. I particularly enjoyed watching her pre-taped jubilee address from the Buckingham Palace equivalent of the Oval Office. I chuckled as she did several quick pivots to accommodate the multiple camera angles. Let’s face it – that’s a lot of work for an 86-year-old monarch. Have you noticed that the Queen’s signature wave has changed? Rather than those little circles with her wrist, she’s now simply moving her elbow back and forth. Well, she has been doing this for 60 years. Maybe she’s got carpal tunnel or waving elbow! Some people feared Prince Philip’s hospitalization would put a damper on the festivities. One of my friends worried that Liz might be tired after taking Phil to the ER – as if the Queen rode in the ambulance to check him in! She didn’t seem particularly concerned to me. In fact, on the morning of the actual jubilee, she scheduled some time before church to go out horseback riding. It’s all about priorities.

You’d think with all the royal revelry, I’d forget all about John Travolta. Not on your life. Once again, I must credit the “National Enquirer” for supplying more pieces to the puzzle. These came via an interview with a guy who dated a guy who dated John Travolta. Did you follow that? You know what they say – when you sleep with someone, you’re sleeping with everyone they slept with. So, technically, this guy slept with Travolta, too. The stoolie, Robert Britz, says he dated Doug Gotterba, who worked as a pilot for Johnny and, allegedly, was his lover. Baitz said, “Doug said that he hated sleeping with John because his body was very hairy, and he didn’t like the way John smelled.” He (Baitz) also says that Travolta’s sexual advances began to “repulse” him (Gotterba) when Travolta would gain weight in between movies. I’m repulsed just thinking about it.

While this third-hand story is fun, it’s not really credible. But the “Enquirer” got corroboration from Travolta’s former secretary, Joan Edwards. She said, “I worked for John Travolta from 1978 through 1994. I did everything for him, including taking care of his personal and professional schedules. Of course, I knew he was gay. It never bothered me.” That’s how she met Gotterba. “Doug is a wonderful guy and we are still good friends. He told me that John was gay and they had a sexual relationship.” Which begs the question – why is she talking now? And why did she leave his employ? Those questions are not addressed by the tabloid. And what about Gotterba? The “Enquirer” did contact him. The only thing he confirmed was that he worked for Travolta as a pilot for six years.

There’s an update on the Liberace biopic which will star Michael Douglas. Catherine Zeta-Jones told reporters that she was shocked to discover her hubby walking around in her panties in order to get into character. He even took to wearing her diamonds and added another Liberace affectation: “I’m sick of having breakfast by candelabra.” As it turns out, Cat was just having a bit of fun. “Before anyone writes that my husband’s a cross-dresser, I’m kidding. He wishes he could fit into them.” Does he? Does he wish he could fit into them? I guess that’s some of that Welsh humor. What is true is that Matt Damon is still playing Liberace’s lover and Dan Aykroyd will portray his manager. The film will begin shooting in August.

Many online sites are still claiming that Queen Latifah came out at Long Beach Pride – especially after she said how glad she was to be with “my people.” However, Queenie is clearing things up once and for all. “I’ve never dealt with the question of my personal life in public. It’s just not gonna happen,” she told “Entertainment Weekly.” “To me, doing a gay pride show is one of the most fun things. My first show that paid more than $10,000 was in a gay club on New Year’s Eve in San Francisco. Tupac happened to be in town, so he came to kick it with me.” I’m not exactly sure, but I think she’s saying she loves the gays when she’s getting paid.

By the way, Joey Lawrence made his debut with the Chippendales in Las Vegas last weeek. Not surprisingly, the crowd was enthusiastic. If you can’t get out there to see him before he leaves on June 24th, you can catch all the photos at BillyMasters.com.

Our appropriate “Ask Billy” question comes from Rodney in London: “Are there any real nudes of Prince William? There’ve been rumors in the press, but I haven’t found any. I figured you’d know.”

How dare you! What kind of sick person would ask for nude photos of Prince William instead of Prince Harry? Anyway, we have several shots of your heir (once removed) having a royal wee during a polo match. We’re not sure how the photographer managed to get so close, but we do know that he’s quite well endowed (how nice for Kate). And interesting to see that, unlike his dad, he’s not circumcised. How do I know that? From the nude photos of Charles. Father and son will turn up on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re celebrating the Royal Jubilee with nude monarchs, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. You know, in olden days, I’m sure someone would decree “Off with his head.” Of course, I’m not sure which head. Be that as it may, you can get more than head’s of state at BillyMasters.com – the thinking man’s gossip site. If you have a question of your own, send it to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Kelly Preston catches John Travolta wearing her panties (he’ll be preparing for a role, of course)! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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