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hollywood shia“Happy father’s day – or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law’s day.” – Ronan Farrow (formerly known as Satchel) Tweets a little dig at estranged dad, Woody Allen.  Clearly he inherited his sense of humor from his mom.

“Happy father’s day – or as they call it in my family, happy brother-in-law’s day.” – Ronan Farrow (formerly known as Satchel) Tweets a little dig at estranged dad, Woody Allen.  Clearly he inherited his sense of humor from his mom.

hollywoodGiven my increasing presence in South Florida, I’ve enjoyed getting to know many of the organizations serving the community.  Last week, I attended the Miami-Dade Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce gala.  Every year, this group chooses a different theme color for the event, working their way down the rainbow flag.  This year was orange – a fabulous color for men with some visible pigment in their skin (natural or otherwise).  Needless to say, I had no problem finding an ensemble for “The Orange Gala” in my extensive wardrobe.  The sensational (and sold-out) soirée took place in the ballroom of the Hilton Miami Downtown – a cavernous space, but necessary since the MDGLCC is the largest non-profit corporation in the country for GLBT businesses.  This year, memberships increased 30 percent over last year.  So once again, the gays are leading the way – this time out of a recession!

My time in Fort Lauderdale coincided nicely with Stonewall Summer Pride.  The grand marshal was bon vivant (and my bon ami), Bruce Vilanch.  It was fortuitous timing since Brucie was in town appearing in the South Florida premiere of “Standing on Ceremony: The Gay Marriage Plays.”  We all know Bruce is a riot, but this show gave him the opportunity to not only make us laugh, but also show a lovely, touching and serious side.  He’s even more talented than I realized – and that’s saying something.  Although the entire cast was marvelous, I must single out the glorious Bryan Batt who can basically do anything – and always looks gorgeous doing it.

After the show, Bruce and I joined Howard Andrew from Fabscout for dining, drinks and dancing (not necessarily by us) at The Boardwalk.  Details of our outing need not be revealed here, but a good time was had by all.  Special thanks to owner Victor Zepka for always being such a great friend – not just to me, but the entire community!

When I reported that ABC had passed on Marc Cherry’s “Devious Maids”, Bruce Vilanch told me that the show wasn’t necessarily dead and might turn up on another network.  And he was right – Lifetime just picked up the show for 13 episodes next season. 

Prior to Bruce’s visit, I enjoyed a quick visit with dear friend Leslie Jordan.  He had been at Key West Pride and made a quick trip to Fort Lauderdale.  His appearance at Georgie’s Alibi was so packed, it felt like a sauna.  Even more people came out to Bill’s Filling Station for the full show, which found Leslie in fabulous form.  The queue for the meet-and-greet was endless, but Jordan dutifully posed for photos in between signing books and DVDs.  Before he left, he handed me the DVD of “My Trip Down the Pink Carpet” saying, “I know you have one in LA, but keep a copy here in Florida for friends to watch.  The case on this one is broke so we can’t sell it – but you can still watch it.  I’ll even autograph it.”  That’s my life: getting irregulars from Leslie Jordan!

Sexy retired rugby player Gareth Thomas turns 38 next month and commemorated the event by posing naked for “Attitude” magazine.  He looks so good; I am finding it more and more unlikely that Mickey Rourke will ever bring his story to the big screen.  The latest delay in the proposed biopic came after the 59-year-old actor had numerous injuries during training.  At least we have these hot photos of Gareth to tide us over…and they can be found on BillyMasters.com.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Vince in Philly: “What is this music video that Shia LaBeouf did in the nude?  Is he really naked?  How does he look?  And why can’t I find it?”

Yes, Shia is really naked…as in full-frontal nude.  Clearly, no one told him the A&F secret of appearing sexy on the set because he is…well, flaccid.  And as we all know, most flaccid men are not anything to write home about.  No offense – that’s just the way it is.  If you look enormous when soft, good for you and please send me a picture.  Personally, my penis is an innie…until there’s a reason to be an outie.  Anyway, back to the video.  It’s for a band out of Iceland called Sigur Rós and the song is “Flögur Pianó”, which I’m sure you all know.  The video is very avant-garde and freaky – the only thing it was missing was some bitch in a swan dress!  But does Shia look good?  Yes.  Must you see it?  Personally, I’d rather see Gareth Thomas than Shia LaBeouf, but that’s just me.  You can see both at BillyMasters.com.

When Shia is big in Iceland (which is hard, given the climate), it’s time to end yet another column.  By the time you read this, I’ll be back in Boston and heading down to Provincetown for July 4th.  Because, you know, nothing makes me feel proud to be an American more than seeing someone who doesn’t speak a lick of English wearing a red, white and blue thong.  Even if I’m busy springing to attention, the latest dish can be found on BillyMasters.com, the site that provides its own fireworks.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com“>Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I start referring to Vilanch as my own personal deep throat!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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