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hollywood shia“Albee probably gave us less attention than he has in many, many, many years – which I rather liked because he can be difficult.  And he’s not as good a director as he thinks he is.” – Kathleen Turner tells Alec Baldwin (on his Podcast at WNYC.com) about working with Edward Albee…

“Albee probably gave us less attention than he has in many, many, many years – which I rather liked because he can be difficult.  And he’s not as good a director as he thinks he is.” – Kathleen Turner tells Alec Baldwin (on his Podcast at WNYC.com) about working with Edward Albee on “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” and that he wasn’t as hands-on as usual because his partner of 35 years was dying.  That’s our Kathleen – always looking on the bright side.

hollywoodI’m in the midst of a very lengthy trip abroad.  You’d think with all the traveling I do, this would become easier.  But, alas, the longer I go away, the more luggages I need to bring with me.  After all, I never take a vacation from writing to you.  Just when I felt prepared for any situation, I read about actor Jonah Falcon – who happens to be in possession of the largest penis in the world (which I have seen in person).  While traveling out of San Francisco International Airport, Jonah was stopped by TSA for possessing what was described as a “suspicious looking bulge” – which I’d consider a compliment, especially in San Francisco.  The agents seemed perplexed when they asked Jonah to empty his pockets and he said, “They are empty”.  He endured a vigorous pat-down which, apparently, satisfied everyone.

Because I’m always thinking of you, I stopped in London to catch the premiere of the latest “Absolutely Fabulous” special – this one focused on the Olympics.  Of course, after I got there, Logo decided to run it a few days later in the States.  Nonetheless, some of you (read: most of you) don’t get Logo.  Happily, you can see it (and the other two “AbFab” specials from this year) on BillyMasters.com.

After London, I was off to Italy and one of the first places I went was lovely Lake Como.  It turns out I just missed running into Channing Tatum and his wife Jenna Dewan.  And where did they stay?  Where do you think?  With George Clooney, of course.  Why?  It turns out Jenna is very close with Stacy Keibler, Clooney’s current paramour.  And since George is best buddies with Steven Soderbergh, I’m sure he has some connection to Channing.  Could Clooney be taking an interest in Tatum like he did with previous up-and-comers Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg, etc?  Well, he does seem to have a type.

Despite the demands of an eight-show-a-week schedule, Ricky Martin is having the time of his life starring in the Broadway revival of “Evita.”  And there’s been a fringe benefit that he didn’t anticipate.  “New York is an amazing place to raise children.”  However, he’s not thrilled with everything else going on in the world.  When the current reigning Miss Peru, Cindy Mejia, was asked how she’d react to having a gay child, she said, “In my case, the day that God permits me to have children, that wouldn’t happen because these things happen perhaps because a child grew up without a father or was molested or lived with his mother and sisters and became effeminate.”  Thank God she put some real thought into the issue and wasn’t just speaking off the cuff.  Upon hearing this, Ricky Tweeted: “What a shame!  Such foolish comments.  Complete ignorance.”  Bravo.  However, he may get further if he Tweeted it in Peruvian – the language of my dearly departed Yma Sumac.

Matthew McConaughey recently did an interview for Larry King’s new web series, “Larry King Now.”  In it, he discusses his next project, “The Dallas Buyers Club,” which is a film about a real-life cowboy named Ron Woodruff who was homophobic.  He contracted HIV via drug use in the ’80s and was told he had 30 days to live.  After successful homeopathic treatment in Mexico, Ron began smuggling non-toxic drugs across the Mexican border to help other sufferers and, later, took on the FDA to legalize his treatment.  McConaughey has been passionate about this project and has even helped with the fundraising.  “It was very tough to get the money for that one, being the subject material and it’s a period piece.”  He also talks about how he has lost 15 pounds and hopes to lose another 15 before he begins filming in September.  “I should not look healthy by the time I’m doing this.”

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Cameron in New York: “I just got my ‘Attitude’ [UK gay mag] and this gorgeous guy Thom Evans is on the cover.  I thought he might be some Olympian, but I guess he’s a rugby player.  What do you know about him?”

When he was 19, Thom was a member of the short-lived British boyband Twen2y4Se7en – a group that I believe failed because of its terrible name that no one could spell.  Aside from his brief foray into music, Thom and his brother Max are notable rugby players.  And they’re both gorgeous.  My fans will probably recognize them from the 2010 Dieux du Stade calendar where Thom’s full-frontal nudity certainly got the attention of gays on both sides of the pond.  Their homoerotic shoot brought new meaning to the term “brotherly love” – and the outtakes are even hotter.  A nice collection of photos and a video from the photo shoot will magically appear on BillyMasters.com.

I’ve saved my favorite story to wrap things up.  Anderson Cooper has been offered $1 million to masturbate on camera.  Now look, I love the dashing silver fox as much as the next gay, but I don’t want to see that.  It just all seems too…icky.  The offer came from Treasure Island Media, those people who make loads of money producing bareback films that no one admits to buying.  Head honcho Paul Morris calls the offer “a career-defining opportunity that cannot be passed up.”  For whom?  Anderson?  So, let me get this straight – rescuing that little boy after the earthquake in Haiti will pale in comparison to doing a jerk-off video?  I think not.

When we could find out what comes between Coop and his Vanderbilt Jeans, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  Frankly, I think this is all a publicity stunt.  If they want to get a CNN anchor playing with himself on a futon, why doesn’t anyone call Don Lemon?  Or Wolf  Blitzer?  I bet he’d be popular with the bears!  For more scintillating stories like this, head to BillyMasters.com, the site that doesn’t aim so high.  If you need answers (and who doesn’t?), send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com“>Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before someone in Como notices my suspicious bulge!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

 

 

 

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