hollywood-2What kind of moronic thing to say.  Maybe that’s projection.  Maybe she’s the one who’s disgusting and she’s projecting her hate.  I LOVE all gays.” – Nadya Suleman takes Paris Hilton to task for her comments about gay people.  You know you’re f*cked when Octomom is the voice of reason.

Hollywood Inside and Out

What kind of moronic thing to say.  Maybe that’s projection.  Maybe she’s the one who’s disgusting and she’s projecting her hate.  I LOVE all gays.” – Nadya Suleman takes Paris Hilton to task for her comments about gay people.  You know you’re f*cked when Octomom is the voice of reason.

One of my friends stays up late at night trying to think of roles that could resuscitate Cher and Barbra’s film careers.  Every time I make a suggestion, we both concur that it would first be offered to Meryl.  Then it hit me – what has been very successful for Streep lately?  Biopics.  Just think how great Streisand would be as someone like Madeleine Albright or Helen Thomas.  Or, what about a remake of “A Woman Called Golda”?  As for Cher, I have three words for you – Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

hollywood-1While Barbra’s options may be limited, her son Jason is embarking on a whole new career.  All he’s always wanted to do was sing, but he was a little intimidated – understandably so!  But, for his mom’s 70th birthday, he made a special film montage which was accompanied by him singing Nat King Cole’s Nature Boy“.  Mom was so overwhelmed that she invited him to join her on her upcoming tour.  This gave Jason the incentive to release his first EP…a collection of five songs (including “Nature Boy”).

When I heard that Nolan Gerard Funk would be appearing on “Glee” playing a Warbler trying to lure Blaine back to the fold, I was sure that name sounded familiar.  It turns out that he starred in the TV remake of “Bye, Bye, Birdie” and the Nickelodeon flick “Spectacular“.  But I didn’t see those.  It turns out that prior to those gigs, he was a hard working stripper/go-go boy in Los Angeles area gay bars. 

I think I’m all awards show-ed out.  I simply could not get excited about going to the Emmys this year.  I could, however, get excited about going to the parties – especially the hottest party in town.  With HBO dominating the awards the last few years/decades, their soirée has become the place to be.  It was at this party that I saw the Emmy award winning director of “Game Change“, Jay Roach, being pulled in a million directions.  I took that opportunity to catch up with his wife, Susanna Hoffs, someone I have known for eons.  This summer, Hoffs put out her first solo CD in over 16 years, and I love it.  I think of “Someday” as an homage to the ’60s, with a decidedly modern sensibility.  I was particularly struck by the orchestrations.  Susanna told me that all of the instruments are live – including the extensive horn and string sections.  How she’s found time to make this solo CD in addition to being a wife and mother of two boys while still touring with The Bangles is a mystery to me.  She’ll also be doing several solo dates this fall (in addition to her dates with The Bangles, who will be at the Magic City Casino in Miami on October 27th).  You can get more info (and the new CD) at SusannaHoffs.com.

When I think of Susanna, I immediately think of the lovely Belinda Carlisle, who I have known even longer.  Like Susanna, she’s busier than ever.  Of course, she’s touring with The Go-Go’s.  She has her “Belindia” line of home furnishings at Bergdorf Goodman.  And she’s been collaborating on a reality show chronicling her work in India, where she spends half the year designing.  Anyone who has seen Carlisle interviewed knows she’s a very private and guarded person.  But this program shows you the side of Belinda that her friends know – the loyal, patient, determined, vocal, and hilarious Belinda.  You can see an extended trailer of the show on my website or BelindaCarlisle.tv.

If you see The Go-Go’s this fall as they celebrate the 30th anniversary of their album “Vacation”, you’ll notice Kathy Valentine missing from the lineup.  Valentine recently had surgery on her broken wrist – which makes it difficult to play the bass.  Taking her place temporarily is the fabulous Abby Travis, who previously toured with The Bangles.  This immediately reminded me of The Go-Go’s 1994-95 tour which featured Vicki Peterson of The Bangles filling in for the pregnant Charlotte Caffey.  I mentioned this to Susanna and she said, “I love those girls.  Between us, I’d really like us all to do something together…at some point.”  Of course, “between us” meant that I immediately texted Belinda to see what she thought.  Her response?  “I would love to do something with them one day.  We’ve discussed it.  You never know.”

I’ve held onto our “Ask Billy” question for a couple of months.  Kevin from Orlando asked: “What ever happened to that porn video that Chris Crocker was going to make with Chi Chi La Rue?  Is he really a top?”

The young Crocker became an Internet sensation with his cry for people to “Leave Britney Alone”.  He later resurfaced as a struggling actor and prospective gay porn star.  He did indeed sign a deal with Ms. La Rue…one that did not bear fruit.  However, his ambitions have found a new home at the Maverick Men website.  But many of the details have changed.  First, the self-proclaimed top is suddenly bottoming for at least two guys.  And, oh yes, he’s not using one of those pesky condoms that only help save your life.  Eh, who am I to judge?  I’ll leave that to those of you who want to check out the footage on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re bringing in da noise and da Funk, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Since we’re running long, let me just remind you that if you have a question for me, e-mail me at Billy@BillyMasters.com“>Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Babs and Jason debut their version of “No More Tears (Enough is Enough)”!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.


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