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“Django wasn’t the lead, so it was like, I need to be the lead.  The other character was the lead!” – Will Smith explains why he passed on “Django Unchained” – his part wasn’t big enough!  Apparently Jamie Foxx has no concerns about the size of his part – and he showed off every inch of it in the film (and on our website).

One morning last week, I woke up to the following headline: “Collins Invited To Lead Gay Pride Parade”.  My first thought once again illustrates…

“Django wasn’t the lead, so it was like, I need to be the lead.  The other character was the lead!” – Will Smith explains why he passed on “Django Unchained” – his part wasn’t big enough!  Apparently Jamie Foxx has no concerns about the size of his part – and he showed off every inch of it in the film (and on our website).

One morning last week, I woke up to the following headline: “Collins Invited To Lead Gay Pride Parade”.  My first thought once again illustrates how out of touch I am: “Joan Collins is going to be in a gay pride parade?”  I knew that wouldn’t happen – La Collins hasn’t seen direct sunlight since 1902. Maybe they meant Jackie Collins – you know, the one with all of that hair. Or maybe I was thinking of her because I just watched the Kentucky Derby. I was wrong on both counts. They were talking about Jason Collins – the first male athlete to come out while still participating in a professional sport (the basketball star was with the Washington Wizards, but is currently a free-agent). His historic coming out was via an essay in “Sports Illustrated”. “I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.” Jason reveals one of the things that inspired his revelation: “I realized I needed to go public when Joe Kennedy, my old roommate at Stanford and now a Massachusetts congressman, told me he had just marched in Boston’s 2012 Gay Pride Parade. I was proud of him for participating but angry that as a closeted gay man I couldn’t even cheer my straight friend on as a spectator”. This led to the invitation to be grand marshal of the 2013 Boston Gay Pride Parade. So far, Jason hasn’t responded, but I believe both of the Collins girls are available.

Last week, the Tony nominations came out and delivered a few surprising snubs. OK, I’m sure nobody really expected Scarlett Johansson to get a nomination (the first “Maggie” on Broadway to not get one).  And despite some champions, no one really expected Jessica Chastain or Katie Holmes to even be invited as seat-fillers. Then there’s Bette Midler, who got love letters from the critics for her portrayal of Sue Mengers in “I’ll Eat You Last”. I don’t know how to explain it, except that maybe some people on the nominating committee still see her as a replacement “Tzeitel”! Even more shocking was the omission of Alan Cumming for his solo take on “Macbeth”. But Alan’s having the last laugh and has already lined up his next Broadway project – a revival of his Tony-winning turn as the Emcee in “Cabaret”. Someone who will not be starring alongside him is Anne Hathaway, who many outlets said was being pursued to play Sally Bowles. In fact, Emma Stone is the frontrunner for the part.

The legal situation over at “Fashion Police” has escalated. As we previously reported, the writers on the E! show had filed a complaint with the California Division of Labor Standards Enforcement stating that they had not been compensated for overtime owed to them as hourly employees. They then filed a grievance with the Writers Guild of America, only to find out the show does not fall under the union’s jurisdiction. And that’s why they walked out on strike.  In addition to the overtime, they want the network to give them union contracts.  I’m thinking maybe they walked out in the middle of writing a joke for Joan Rivers. This may explain why Auntie Joan continuously says, “It’s just….” without finishing the sentence.

Didya know that one of the writers on “Fashion Police” is the outrageous Jackie Beat? Perhaps if “Fashion Police” was unionized, Jackie would have health insurance. Beat was definitely not laughing when her doctor told her she needed to have a double hip replacement. Since the out-of-pocket expenses would be around $50K, Jax set up a fundraiser on GiveForward.com and linked directly to her website (MissJackieBeat.com).  By the day of her surgery, over $40K has been raised. Although this column will come out after the fundraiser ends, I’m sure she’d gratefully accept any help you can provide.

We have a theatre-related “Ask Billy” question.  Roger in Connecticut writes: “I was looking at your photos on Facebook and was wondering if anyone has ever said that you look like Tony Goldwyn? My partner claims he saw Goldwyn naked in a play, but I’ve never heard about that.  Is it true?”

You are not the first person to note my resemblance to Tony Goldwyn. It started after he did “Ghost” – back then, we also had similar hair. Needless to say, I take the comparison as a huge compliment. As to your second question, your partner is correct – Goldwyn did indeed appear nude in the 2006 off-Broadway production of “The Water’s Edge” (written by Theresa Rebeck). As he undresses to take a bath, he not only exhibited an impressive physique (better than mine ever was) but also a substantial penis – which dangled and everything!  We’ve unearthed some very explicit footage of this scene, which you can watch on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m attracted to my own doppelgänger, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Of course, you can always get twice as much gossip at www.BillyMasters.com.  If you’ve got a question, e-mail it to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com“>Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Jackie Beat realizes she needs to get her knees replaced (they’re always the first to go). So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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