Girl, I got one or two you could have of mine. I’ll give them to you!” – Sherri Shepherd returns to “The View” and responds to Raven-Symoné’s desire to have a child. Some people have taken Sherri to task for this quip, but given the context, I thought it was hilarious.
I understand that alcoholism is a disease and that people with this disease should be supported and get help. That said, let me tell you that should you ever be fortunate enough to meet Jonathan Rhys Meyers, pray that he’s drunk. I can tell you from personal experience that after he’s had a few, he’s all hands. Admittedly, he’ll grab anything to stop from falling down, but I’ll take what I can get. Last week, the paparazzi snapped him stumbling home in the morning hours, looking unwashed, unshaven, unkempt, and carrying two bottles of vodka – one of which he took a swig from! I forgot the best part – his button fly jeans were unbuttoned, which means at some point his penis was exposed. Of course, we’ve all already seen his penis – and if you haven’t, get thyself to BillyMasters.com. After the photos were published, JRM said, “Sorry for my disheveled appearance as I was on my way home from a friend’s and had not changed.” Or washed or showered for a few days. But he doesn’t appear to be too concerned: “I feel I made a mistake and feel quite embarrassed but this was just a blip in my recovery, otherwise I’m living a healthy life.”
According to “Star” magazine, Brad Pitt has a penchant for gay male hookers. The rag quotes the ravings of a deluded gay gossip (obviously not moi), who tells them, “I don’t want to define Brad Pitt’s sexuality, but whatever it is, he’s into guys.” That sounds like a definition to me. The story claims that Pitt often hires fetching young lads who strike his fancy from escort websites. But just getting that call doesn’t mean you’ll be having sex with Brad Pitt. According to the report, Pitt will make that decision once he meets you. If he’s not suitably impressed, you’ll be dismissed – but not before being paid for your time. The source claims that the late porn star Cameron Fox was someone Pitt hired and dismissed after meeting him at a hotel in Monterey, California. The reason? Pitt didn’t think Fox looked that good in person. As someone who knew Foxy intimately, I can tell you that: a) he looked as good or better in person than he did in photos and b) if he had ever met Brad Pitt, he would have told everyone he knew. On the positive side, Cam did make the cover of “Star” – that would have tickled him.
Whenever Jane Fonda is acting, she provides plenty of fodder for this column. In an interview with “W” magazine, Jane shares her initial impression of Warren Beatty: “I thought Warren was gay. He played piano, and all his friends were gay.” Beatty recalls that their meeting took place 56 years ago when they both did their first screen test in 1959. Warren says the two of them were “thrown together like two lions in a cage and kissed until we had practically eaten each other’s heads off.” Proving how different memories can be, Fonda claims to have no recollection of the screen test!
Jane got some good news – Netflix has renewed “Grace and Frankie” for a second season. And she may have Miley Cyrus to thank. Cyrus Tweeted “I found my show! #GraceandFrankie. On a bender! Jane & Lily are so bad a$$” Shortly thereafter, the brass at Netflix renewed the show.
Over the years, there has been lots of crossover between The Bangles and The Go-Go’s. When Charlotte Caffey’s pregnancy coincided with one of The Go-Go’s reunion tours, Bangle Vicki Peterson filled in. When Michael Steele retired from The Bangles, she was replaced by Abby Travis, who subsequently replaced fired Go-Go Kathy Valentine. So it’s somewhat poetic that last weekend, Kathy Valentine took her place alongside The Bangles at the renowned Troubadour in West Hollywood. While I don’t expect this will be a regular occurrence (Valentine is quite busy with her own band, The BlueBonnets), you can see some of our exclusive footage on BillyMasters.com.
We spoke to some of our sources at FOX about the upcoming “Grease: Live” they are planning for Julianne Hough and Vanessa Hudgens. Last week, it was announced that Keke Palmer will be playing Marty (who sings “Freddie, My Love”). While no other casting has been officially announced, I hear they are thisclose to landing Nick Jonas as Danny Zuko. That may be exciting, but even more thrilling is their hope of coaxing Olivia Newton-John into making a cameo as Principal McGee – memorably played in the film by Eve Arden. I’d suggest John Travolta in the role of Coach Calhoun, but that idea may be too hot to handle. You know – shades of Sandusky.
When I’m connecting John Travolta with one of the few sex scandals he wasn’t involved in, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column. A little Broadway, some TV, some music, some films, and some penises. All in a days work at www.BillyMasters.com, the site that’s one-stop shopping. We didn’t have room for an “Ask Billy” question this week, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask me directly. Send an e-mail to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Brad Pitt sends Jonathan Rhys Meyers a case of vodka. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.