“I have a gay ex-husband. People always say to me, ‘How did you not know? He loves decorating and fashion and clothes.’ But we actually did have sex a lot. I didn’t know at the time, though, that in his mind he was f–king the bartender at the Olive Garden!” – Fran Drescher’s speech after being honored by the Stonewall Community Foundation Vision Awards. I know her ex, the lovely Peter Marc Jacobson, and I don’t believe he’s ever been in an Olive Garden!
I think God may be gay. For many years, I’ve been involved in various Gay Pride festivals around the country where rain was predicted. And then, as if a sign from the Lord above, the rains would stop just in time for the festivities. For weeks, we’ve been waiting for the Supreme Court of the United States to rule on the legality of same-sex marriage. And when did it come down? Friday, June 26th – two days before the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots and on the eve of Gay Pride in San Francisco and New York City. Timing is everything.
Last weekend, London also celebrated gay pride. While NYC got thespians Derek Jacobi and Sir Ian McKellen as their grand marshals (whilst promoting their show, “Vicious”), the London Gay Pride Parade included ISIS – at least, according to CNN. The international broadcast of the news network interrupted programming to feature a report from Lucy Pawle, who said she saw the ISIS flag being brandished amidst the revelers. While showing her exclusive video footage, she expressed shock that nobody else seemed to notice the flag, and patted herself on the back for having a scoop. She probably should have reached a bit lower – to her backside. The flag she showed did not have Arabic lettering – it actually featured drawings of assorted butt plugs and dildos! I betcha Anderson Cooper or Don Lemon would never have made such a mistake.
Before I go on, I must mention some of the fantastic performers I got to see while in Fort Lauderdale for Wilton Manors’ Stonewall Parade and Street Festival. Kicking off the week was the amazing Mario Cantone, who held the capacity audience at the Parker Playhouse in the palm of his hand for more than two uproarious hours. Then there was En Vogue, who put on a kick-ass show on the Mainstage. Wrapping up the weekend was the lovely Leslie Jordan at The Cabaret in South Beach. No matter how many times I see Leslie, I am thoroughly entertained. His engaging stories and affable personality make him a perennial favorite.
By the time you read this, Michael Sam should be back up in Canada singing “Alouette, gentille alouette!” About a week ago, Sam’s football career all but flatlined as he abruptly left training camp with the Montreal Alouettes for “personal reasons”. He was suspended and local reporters mused that he wouldn’t be returning. The team’s general manager was perplexed. “He wanted to go home, and that’s what he did. I don’t know why. When a guy wants to go home, they go home. He had some personal things to take care of. I wouldn’t be surprised if he returns. I’m surprised he left. I was very surprised. If he doesn’t come back, I would think football’s over for him.” Rumors circulated that he wasn’t doing well in practice and had trouble with his teammates. While we still don’t know anything about his mysterious departure, Sam was expected to return to practice on Monday.
Donald Trump is certainly known for being judgmental and last week, he sure stepped in it. While formally announcing his candidacy for president, he spoke disparagingly about one of our neighbors: “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They are bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” Needless to say, this did not go over well. When asked by ABC News if he regrets his comments, Trump said, “Not at all. I said it about people from all over. I didn’t say it about Mexico…I said from people all over.” Except, of course, he did – and on live TV – and that’s where he’s being hardest hit. Univision has cut all ties with the Miss Universe Pageant, saying, “We will not be airing the Miss USA pageant on July 12th or working on any other projects tied to the Trump Organization.” Trump fired back with a lawsuit trying to pressure the network to air the pageant. He also issued a strongly-worded letter banning all Univision employees from his golf course (adjacent to the network’s Miami office) and ordered work be stopped on a gate being constructed between the two properties. In other words, Trump thinks his is bigger than theirs.
Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Jasper in New York City: “Who is Adam Rodriguez? You mentioned that he was on the ‘Magic Mike’ float at LA Pride, but I have no idea who he is. Was he in the first movie? Is he hot? Can you share anything about him?”
As it happens, Adam Rodriguez is a neighbor of yours – he was born in Yonkers. He’s of Puerto Rican and Cuban ancestry, which means two things: a) he’s really hot and b) he won’t be voting for Donald Trump. You probably know him as Eric Delko on “CSI: Miami”. And, yes, he played Tito in the first “Magic Mike” flick. Showing off his considerable assets, he stripped down for the “Cosmo UK” issue supporting cancer research. In promoting his pictorial, the magazine claimed, “EVEN MORE Adam Rodriguez than you’ll see in ‘Magic Mike XXL'”. Rodriguez explained why he posed for the magazine: “Health problems don’t discriminate on age – young men and women need to pay attention to that. It’s your body, don’t be afraid of it. Check yourself out, if something doesn’t feel right go an get a doctor’s opinion.” You can check Adam out on BillyMasters.com.
When “Cosmo” is more titillating than “Magic Mike”, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Of course, the hottest stories (and photos) can always be found on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that is known for setting off fireworks. Although I’ll be celebrating the 4th with the throngs in thongs in Provincetown, I’m always available for your questions. Dash off a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before we discover that Ruth Bader Ginsburg is really God (or, at the very least, knows God personally). Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.