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Dear Andreus,

I started dating a guy, but he doesn’t live here.  We live a couple thousand miles apart, but he visits frequently.  I am falling in love. He made it clear when we started that he was not ready for anything too serious, but the more time we spend together, the more emotionally invested I get.  I am afraid to say anything, because I might scare him away. My fear is also that he might meet someone else. Do I wait, or step out on a limb and say something?

Sincerely,

Carlyle S.

Dear Carlyle,

I believe that one of the hardest things ever, is to be emotionally involved with someone long distance.  Since I have done it before, I know how difficult it is to want to be with someone that you only get to see from time to time, especially after emotions have built up.  If he has expressed at any time that he was not ready for anything serious, it is probably best to respect that, and not mess up a good thing if you can endure the distance.  If it is meant to be, in time, he will most likely say something. Nothing worth anything comes easy! I hope it all works out for you. 

Dear Andreus,

My boyfriend lost his apartment and asked to move in with me. I hesitated at first because this can sometimes change the dynamics of a good relationship. I agreed though, and he moved in, and brought his three cats with him. I must be honest, I hate cats, but for him I did it.  It has been two months, and his cats have been clawing my furniture to shreds. Every time I say something, he tells me that he will fix or replace anything that is damaged, but he does not make any efforts to teach his cats otherwise. I am at my end now and am about to explode. My apartment has become a kitty playground. I don’t know what to do. Help please!

Sincerely,

Carlos J.

Dear Carlos,

In this situation both parties are to blame.  Clearly, he is to blame if he is not making any efforts to keep his cats under control or doing what is necessary for them not to damage your property.  On the same token, you knew that you don’t like cats, yet you still invited him into your space with his cats, so you kind of knew what the possibilities were.  So now that you are already knee-deep in kitty litter, you must figure out how to deal. One option, if you have the space, is to designate a room for the cats, where they pretty much live and there are plenty of toys and entertainment.   And next time, try not to let the booty blind you to the cat’s 😉.