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Lets go on a journey to hell, shall we? Ive found a portal that can take us directly there. Hat tip to Dave Daubenmire, former high school football coach and self-proclaimed defender of the Christian faith,for showing the way.

The way to hell, it turns out, is through Billie Eilish.

Now, Im no longer in my 20’s or my 30s for that matter, so I am not super familiar with Billie Ellish. In fact, when I saw that the cover of one of her records depicted a red ladder and Ellish wearing a red jumpsuit below said ladder with multiple chains around her neck, my first guess was that the album had a workplace safety theme.

But I know now that Ellishs theme is the devil, specifically bringing children to the devil through her videos, which have millions of views on YouTube.

[The devil] is out of the bottle and our children are watching it, you with me?Daubenmire said during his Sept. 20 webcast. The devil is stealing our children.

The song and video all the good girls go to hellseems to have set off the alarm on Daubenmires Devil Detector.

Do you think Billie Eilish came up with this idea, on her own?he asked. Do you think this imagery and these songs and these videos, do you think she just kinda did it on her own in her basement, like me?

A good question, though Daubenmires webcast is done against a backdrop that looks like a full sports stadium so I am shocked, SHOCKED, to hear that hes actually webcasting in his basement.

And, no, I dont think that Ellish made these songs and videos in her basement, but hey, kids and technology these days, am I right? Anything is possible.

But back to the devil stuff, Daubenmire has some very, well, interesting theories about the souls of our children.

There are forces of dark beyond what we can even imagine that is full bore after our children,he said. If they cant abort em, theyre going to drug em. If they cant drug em, theyre gonna vaccinate em. If they cant vaccinate em, theyre gonna indoctrinate them in school. If they cant indoctrinate em in school, theyre going to indoctrinate em through the media. If they cant indoctrinate em through the media, theyre going to take them to the libraries and talk about homo sex.

Whoa. He got all of this from a Billie Eilish video? Also, Daubenmire says hes pro-life but Jesus, dude: vaccinations are a GOOD THING that SAVE PEOPLES LIVES.

Then I watched the video for all the good girls go to hell.It begins with the image of Ellishs bare back being stabbed with maybe a dozen syringes, after which she sprouts wings and falls from the sky and hits the ground really hard. If thats what Daubenmire thinks vaccines do, well, no wonder hes against them.

I watched the rest of the video, which consists of a weak and stumbling Ellish drenched in what looks like oil, dragging her wings behind her. Around her everything catches fire, because, you know, hell.

I also watched the video for when the party’s over(she has plenty of others, but I dont have time to sit around and watch music videos all day unlike some people), in which Ellish, dressed in white, consumes a glass of dark liquid that then pours out of her eyes like tears.

I’m not sure where this video fits into Daubenmire’s abort/drug/vaccinate/indoctrinate/library scenario.

What I do know is that I was promised a visit with the devil him/her/their self and instead what I got were some songs and videos by what is clearly a very talented young woman who likely doesnt GAF what people like Daubenmire think about her.

Folks, the assault on the American child is at an all-time fever pitch and those of us who carry the name of Christ, we are asleep in the light, baby,Daubenmire warns.

I would agree that the assault on the American childis at an all-time high considering that just about every child in America just began yet another school year where active shooter drills are now considered business as usual in a country that has mass shooting after mass shooting and does absolutely fucking nothing to stop the next one.

Perhaps Eilishs raw imagery and sorrowful lyrics are a response to growing up and living in these very times and so many young Americans are drawn to her art because it helps them make sense of a seemingly senseless world?

Or, you know, it could just be the devil beckoning kids to the nearest public library to be vaccinated with homo sex.

I guess well never know.