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How Do My Boyfriend and I Get Out of a Relationship Rut?

Dear Andreus,

I have been in a relationship for 6 years. Over a year ago, I wanted to leave because I am not happy anymore. We have no communication, our sex life is almost non-existent, and we barely spend time together even though we live together. Every time I bring the subject up, he sidetracks me with some elaborate explanation as to why I should stay. How do I get out of this? Please help!


Jacob M.

Dear Jacob,

Having been in a similar situation, I can tell you that the only way to leave, is just do it. If you feel that the relationship is no longer serving a purpose and/or you are not happy then that is probably your best course of action. But only make that decision if you truly feel that you have exhausted every effort to salvage your relationship to ensure that you don’t have any regrets later. I find it best to part on the best possible terms, because the longer you drag it out, the greater chance of emotions such as resentment building up and then things get ugly.  Take the necessary steps, have the talk, and stick to your guns. I am wishing the very best for you!

Dear Andreus,

My wife wants me to be more fem. In our relationship she has always been daintier and into the heels and dresses. I am more into slacks, little or no make-up and just a more relaxed look. I have always been that way, but she feels that I need to soften my look.  Honestly, it makes me uncomfortable because it is not me, or my personality. She keeps bringing it up, and it makes me feel like I don’t look good enough. What should I do? 


Cara S.

Dear Cara,

You must be true to yourself.  Maybe there are minor tweaks that you two can come to an agreement on, but you certainly should not feel the pressure to completely change for anyone if you don’t feel comfortable with it.  Don’t be afraid to try new things, but not to the point where you no longer feel like you. Another route could be to just to “play” dress-up every now and then. That way she gets to see you another way, but you can go right back to yourself in an instant.  Have some fun with it!!  

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