Dear Andreus,
I have been trying to get out of a toxic relationship for some time. Every time I make the attempt to leave, he threatens my privacy. I am not out to my family, and he says that if I leave him, he will tell them that I am gay. It would be devastating to say the least, because my family is not open-minded at all. What can I do?
Sincerely,
Jasper K.
Dear Jasper,
A relationship should never feel like a trap or be a prison. Love is the only reason to be in it. If you feel that this relationship has taken its course, then you have a right to decide to leave and do so. No one who truly loves you will try to hold you with threats. If this threat is a serious possibility, maybe you should talk to your family and get it over with, then leave. At least he has no more leverage, and you can kill two birds with one stone!
Dear Andreus,
I have been dating a guy for over a year. Things are serious, and he has been talking about getting engaged. The problem is that he lives in a very straight world and comes from an intensely religious family. He keeps telling everyone that I am his best friend and roommate, but I don’t feel like that is fair to me. I told him that if he cannot be honest about who I am, then we have no future. Am I wrong?
Sincerely,
Kyle M.
Dear Kyle,
I can only imagine how you must feel. One of the greatest things about being with someone is having pride in it. I agree that if you plan to have a future, especially marriage, that it is time for complete honesty and transparency. Only you know what you are willing to accept and at what cost. If you have not yet done so, you two need to sit down and figure out a way to remedy this situation. You deserve complete recognition, and he deserves tolerance at the least. We cannot force people to accept us, but we can live and speak our truths.
