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When Should I Reveal My HIV+ Status?

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Dear Andreus,

I have been dating a guy for about a month now. We have not had sex but have made out a few times. I feel like it is getting intense and heading towards intimacy very soon.   Though I always practice safe sex, I have not told him that I am HIV+. Even though I am undetectable and realize that there is probably 0 chance of my transmitting it to him, I am afraid to tell him. He is a total health freak, and I am afraid that he might take off if I do.   I don’t know what to do because I feel like I should say something. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Corey P.

Dear Corey,

As cliché as it sounds, honesty is always the best policy. We live in a time where being HIV+ is no longer a death sentence, and people are far more educated about treatment options and the minimal risks of transmission in intimate situations with persons that are undetectable. You might be pleasantly surprised if you tell him. Honesty is honorable, and if he doesn’t accept it, that means that he is not the one for you. I would hate for you to continue with the relationship, engage in sex, and then he finds out later and is put off by your dishonesty. Regardless of what the outcome will be, you should be forthcoming.

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