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I Have Very Little in Common with Boyfriend of 10 Years

Dear Andreus,

I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years, but I am realizing that we have very little in common.  We don’t particularly like the same things, and we don’t really communicate well.  He has anxiety, so doesn’t like social situations, where I am a social butterfly.  Also, he gets easily agitated, and ends up snapping at me a lot for no reason. Lastly, he never takes responsibility for anything,  and although we both work, he never helps around the house or anything.  I haven’t left because we have been together for so long, but I just can’t take it anymore.  I just don’t know what to do.

Sincerely,

Frasier H.

Dear Frasier,

If you have been in this relationship for this long, you clearly love him. Even though you may not have much in common, there was something there in the beginning that brought you together.  Take some time to think about what that was, and then weigh out the pros and cons in your relationship. Write those things down and ask him to do the same.  Compare notes and think about where there might be room for change or improvement.  It’s a start.  I would also suggest seeking individual and/or couple’s therapy.   It might give you a new outlook on things.

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