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I Feel Like I Need to Keep My Money a Secret From My Boyfriend

Dear Andreus,

I recently came into some money and feel like I need to keep in a secret.  My boyfriend is very high-maintenance and has me spending money like water. I love him, so I don’t mind, but now that I have come into a sizeable amount of cash, I feel like if he knew he would want me spending even more money.  My fear is that he may find out later that I have the money and wonder why I said nothing.  We have been together for eight years and share mostly everything.  Truth is, I don’t like keeping secrets, but I also don’t like being broke.  What should I do?


Courtney M.

Dear Courtney,

Something that I swear by, is that we teach people how to treat us.  I don’t doubt that you have gotten your boyfriend accustomed to certain things, or a high-maintenance way of life.  Once those habits start, it is often hard to stop it.  You are within your rights to withhold or share that fact that you have come into some money.  If you chose to tell him, then you should lay down some rules.  It is your money, and you are allowed to say no.  If you decide to not tell him, again that is something that only you can decide.  If all else fails, maybe give him a fixed allowance!

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