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My Boyfriend is Hooking Up with the Pool Guy!

Dear Andreus,

My boyfriend has been lying to me, and I don’t know if I can take it anymore.  I came home early from work one day and saw him having sex with the pool guy in our tool shed in the backyard.  He didn’t see me and doesn’t know that I’m aware that he cheated.  However, I have asked him several times if he has been spending time at all with the pool guy.  So now, not only have I seen him having sex with someone else, I’ve got even deeper trust issues because he has been lying to me.  At the same time, I don’t wanna lose him.  Please help!


Gordon P.

Dear Gordon,

I think you know the truth; you are just trying to avoid it.  You say that you don’t want to lose him, but you may already have lost him.  If he is not respecting your relationship by cheating, and lying – this is an issue of love, commitment, honesty, and integrity.  What you must ask yourself, is if you are willing to live this way.  The behavior is not likely to change and if it is not the pool guy, it will likely be someone else. So, if you are looking for someone to be faithful and true – you might need to cut your losses.

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