The start of a new year often brings with it a tradition deeply ingrained in our culture: the setting of New Year’s resolutions. As we step into the first weeks of the year, many of us find ourselves reflecting on these goals, sometimes with a sense of frustration or disappointment. As a queer mental health counselor and an active member of the LGBTQ+ community, I understand the unique pressures and challenges we face. In this light, I’d like to offer an alternative perspective on resolutions and self-improvement.
In the queer community, our experiences are richly diverse, individually unique, and commonly interwoven with stories of strength and courage. This context is vital when considering resolutions. Often, these goals stem from societal expectations rather than our authentic desires. The emphasis on achieving specific outcomes can inadvertently lead to self-criticism, particularly when we deviate from these set goals. It’s essential to recognize that self-improvement is not a rigid, linear process, but a fluid journey that honors our individuality and respects our pace.
Let’s shift the focus from what we have not achieved to celebrating what we have. Perhaps you’ve made a new friend, explored a part of your identity, or simply given yourself permission to rest. These moments are significant milestones in our journey. They reflect our strength, our willingness to explore, and our commitment to self-care – aspects far more critical than sticking to a traditional resolution.
In our journey of self-discovery and growth, self-compassion is a powerful tool. It’s about treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a good friend. This approach fosters resilience, enabling us to navigate life’s challenges with a sense of grace and empathy for ourselves. Remember, setbacks are not failures; they are opportunities to learn and grow.
As we redefine our approach to personal growth, I encourage setting intentions rather than resolutions. Intentions are flexible and can evolve with us throughout the year. They can be as simple as being more present, embracing our identities, or nurturing connections with others. These intentions should resonate with your core values and enhance your well-being, rather than being a checklist of tasks to accomplish.
At SunServe, we are committed to supporting the mental health and well-being of the LGBTQ+ community. We recognize the diverse needs within our community and offer a range of mental health programs, including individual therapy, support groups, and therapy groups. Our services are accessible and inclusive, ensuring that financial barriers do not impede the pursuit of mental wellness.
With that being said, I invite you to join us in embracing a more compassionate and realistic approach to self-improvement. Let’s honor our journeys, celebrate our achievements, and support each other in our collective and individual growth. Remember, SunServe is here for you, offering a safe space and a supportive community. Together, we can redefine what it means to set and pursue goals, anchored in self-compassion and community support.
Nicholas Makris is the Prevention Program Coordinator and a Staff Therapist at SunServe. He advocates for mental health awareness and inclusivity within the LGBTQ+ community. To explore SunServe’s diverse range of mental health programs and social services, visit SunServe.org.
