Hey Woody,
Over the weekend my good friend and I had sex in his hot tub! We have known each other since we were kids. . .I’m 33 and he’s 34. He is married with two kids, by the way. After his wife got out of the hot tub she went to bed. He and I had been drinking A LOT that night…I made a move on him and then unexpectedly he felt me up and I ended up sucking him off beside the hot tub. I really feel guilty because I am close with his wife as well. Not sure how to act now when I do see them again since this has happened. I can’t stop thinking about it because it was so hot!! What should I do, Woody? Pursue him? Act as if nothing happened? -Puzzled
Hey Woody,
Over the weekend my good friend and I had sex in his hot tub! We have known each other since we were kids. . .I’m 33 and he’s 34. He is married with two kids, by the way. After his wife got out of the hot tub she went to bed. He and I had been drinking A LOT that night…I made a move on him and then unexpectedly he felt me up and I ended up sucking him off beside the hot tub. I really feel guilty because I am close with his wife as well. Not sure how to act now when I do see them again since this has happened. I can’t stop thinking about it because it was so hot!! What should I do, Woody? Pursue him? Act as if nothing happened?
-Puzzled
Dear Puzzled,
Don’t act as if nothing happened; act as if something TERRIBLE has happened. Well, okay, that’s a bit melodramatic, but still, do you really want to be the guy that busted up a good marriage and left a couple of kids Dad-less during the weekdays?
I mean, it’d be one thing if the guy kept bugging you to get together—you know, like those awful guys you say wonderful things to just so you can see their penis and now you want nothing to do with them but they keep calling?
But he’s not. My advice is to “Leave it where Jesus flung it.” Don’t do anything and act as if nothing happened. Not my usual recommendation (I’m partial to honest communication, but not when it comes to endangering a family). I always say, if you want Drama, it’s at Blockbuster’s right after the comedy aisle.
Hey Woody,
I always seem to fall for the a**holes. I’m sure you’ve heard this story thousands of times. I’m like Teflon to nice boys. They date me for about three weeks and then they slide right off and out the door! No, I’m more of a magnet for needy guys and guys who need help fixing something in their lives. . .and that generally makes them weird. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a handy man and I don’t want to fix anything! How can I reverse the process and make the nice guys stick around and the a**holes slide off me?
-Nice would be nice
Dear Nice,
What are you doing at the two or three week mark that’s causing them to slide off your banister?
You can’t really ask yourself (that’s like asking a fish what it thinks about the water. The answer is, “What water?”). And you certainly can’t ask the guy you’re dating. After 2-3 weeks of dating the only allowable question is “What are you doing Saturday night?” Anything more intimate than that and you’d have to trade in your penis for a vagina.
There are three main questions you want to ask yourself when you’ve met a nice guy that you want to keep dating:
1. Am I being too pushy? Is he always returning instead of initiating my texts, emails and calls? If so, back off and give him some breathing room.
2. Am I being too mushy? Am I constantly indecisive? If so, take control and say, “there’s a cool place across town I haven’t tried—you want to take a chance on it?”
3. Am I giving the impression that I just want to be friends? You people who wait till 3 or 4 dates before having sex run a big risk of sending the wrong signal. Your guy might be thinking, “I don’t want another friend—got plenty of those.” I’m not saying spread for the first piece of bread he throws at you; I’m saying make it clear you’re sexually interested even if you’re not putting out—by flirting, making out and whispering things that make him blush.
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