I’ve been taking 300 mg of Effexor for over two years for depression. This stuff has really helped me. One of the side effects can be an inability to ejaculate. I did experience this for about two months after I first started taking the Effexor. After this went away, I have not had any problems with ejaculation. However, the other day I was receiving oral pleasure from someone and after I finished I thanked him. His startled response was, “For what? You didn’t squirt.” I told him that I had and that it was great. Again, he responded, “I had you in my mouth, I know you didn’t.” Herein lies the problem. I had one of the most incredible orgasms that I have ever had: full body quivers, muscle tension and a complete feeling of release.
Have you ever heard of anything such as a “dry orgasm”? I have asked a few of my friends but they just looked at me as if I was crazy. I know now not to ask them anything anymore. Since that experience, I have had “normal” or liquid ejaculations. I’ve just never experienced this before and am more curious than concerned. Any comments?
— High and dry, but feeling good
Dear High & Dry:
A “dry orgasm” is when the bartender forgets to put vermouth in your martini. It’s also a sexual climax without the release of semen. Yes, it’s possible to have an orgasm without an ejaculation. Here’s how: An orgasm is the contraction of muscles that expel semen. There doesn’t have to be semen in the urethra for the muscle contractions to occur. An orgasm is about muscle contractions, an ejaculation is about spitting semen out of the penis. That’s why semen is often referred to as “ejaculate” in medical circles. You experienced one without the other. It’s common to associate semen with orgasms but it ain’t necessarily so. You can have body-wracking, furniture-breaking, barn-burning orgasms and not spill a single drop.
So why didn’t you pop the man-nectar? You probably had a temporary *Retrograde Ejaculation*. Meaning, instead of the semen being forced out of the urethra it got forced into the bladder.
During normal orgasms a tiny muscle at the entrance of the bladder shuts off allowing the semen to do its Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon act through the urethra.
In retrograde ejaculations that tiny muscle doesn’t shut properly, allowing all or part of the semen to travel backward (retrograde) into the bladder.
What causes it? Psychiatric medications. Mystery solved. Next!
No, really. Certain medications (not just psychiatric ones) can interfere with nerve functions that control ejaculatory muscles.
Retrograde ejaculations can also be caused by surgical damage to the muscle of the bladder neck, or to the nerves that control this muscle. Since it’s only happened once I wouldn’t worry about it. Sounds like a medication hiccup to me. If it happens more frequently your doctor can switch medications and see if it helps.
If your retrograde ejaculation is a result of mild nerve or bladder muscle damage there’s still hope—many medications have a 40% success rate.
Oh, and one more thing. I can’t get past the fact that you thanked your trick for coming. I usually thank them for leaving. You must be from the South.