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I’m Not Comfortable In My Polyamourous Relationship

Dear Andreus,

My husband and I have been married for two years. We got into a polyamorous relationship about six months ago. I was never really into that sort of thing, but the other guy was really nice, and I thought that we had a good understand. Now I feel as if the other guy has gotten too close to my husband, and I want him gone. I have said something to the guy about it, but he doesn’t want to leave. The situation is becoming increasingly uncomfortable for me. I just want him out. He has been staying with us for the last 3 months, and it is overkill. What do I do?


Ronny  P.

Dear Ronny,

First things first. Talking to the other guy is not going to get you any results. He is probably very comfortable in this situation, especially with a place to stay. You need to talk directly to your husband. The other guy is just the third party in your relationship. You and your husband need to decide on the best course of action, because your marriage should take precedence over anything else. Sit down and have a conversation with your husband, tell him exactly how you feel, and together you can decide on where to go from there. Is this something that is fixable, or does this person need to go? Is polyamory even the right thing for you? Unfortunately, someone usually gets hurt or left out when there are more than two involved in a relationship. Home base is always first!  I hope it works out for the best.

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