Dear FayWhat?!
So here I am: middle-aged, moisturized, and allegedly “working on myself” in Victoria Park. I made all the New Year’s resolutions: less drinking, more gym, fewer carbs, and stop flirting with red flags with pretty teeth. And then… my partner ruined everything. He looks at my vision board and says, “Baby, you don’t need the gym, you need brunch.” Suddenly, I’m three mimosas deep, eating fried chicken and convincing myself orange juice is a vitamin. We were going to “budget more,” but then he blinked, and now we have Dolly Parton tickets, a new sofa, and apparently a cruise I don’t remember booking.
I promised myself “less drama,” but my man’s ex keeps texting, his mother has opinions about our curtains, and he adopted a dog with separation anxiety that cries louder than I do. I was going to meditate — instead, I negotiate. With everyone. So FayWhat?! tell me — am I breaking my resolutions because I’m weak… or because my partner is too cute to say no to? And how do I get my life together when he keeps handing me champagne?
Signed, Resolutely a Hot Mess in Victoria Park.
