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My ‘Friends With Benefits’ Buddy Wants More

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For months I have been in a “friends with benefits” situation with a really nice guy. I told him from day one that I wasn’t really looking for anything serious, because I am newly out of a relationship. We have been having sex regularly, and spending time together here and there. I realize that he has been developing serious feelings for me, and I don’t know what to do. He has started telling people that I am his special person, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I am afraid that I might be pressured into more than what I want right now. The problem, is also, that I don’t want to stop having sex with him. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Grayson P.

Dear Grayson,

It sounds like you just need to have a very frank conversation with him. Although you don’t want to give up a good thing, that good thing will most likely end anyway if he gets his feelings crushed. You must be transparent and remind him that you don’t want a relationship. The longer you allow for this to go on without addressing it, the deeper his feelings will most likely develop. Be direct and tell him that you just want to be friends and have casual sex. He ultimately must decide whether he can handle that or not. If not, you might very well need to end this arrangement, unless you truly want to find yourself in a relationship again.

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