The Once & Future Ex
My heart sank as I read the words on my phone: It’s over. Couples break up every day. Relationships are difficult. They require hard work, compromise, and still situations arise forcing each party to ask themselves, “Is this person really worth it?”
Couples break up every day. Relationships are difficult. They require hard work, compromise, and still situations arise forcing each party to ask themselves, “Is this person really worth it?”
I don’t believe in getting back with an ex. When it’s over, it’s over. I figure whatever caused the break-up was significant enough that we were unwilling or unable to move past it, so why should the second time around be any different?
Recently, one of my best friends rekindled an old flame. When he and the ex originally called it quits, the whole break up just felt too soon. They seemed too good together to give up, so when I learned my friend had reunited with his ex, I attempted to shelve my break-up-no-make-up rule and take an optimistic approach. In fact, the reunion inspired me and I began to wonder if I gave up on a bit too quickly on some of my past relationships.
When I ran into an ex a few weeks later, I assumed the universe was sending me a sign to give this guy another shot. After a mediocre movie date and a lack-luster goodnight, kiss, I realized I had made the right decision the first time.
I didn’t allow one bad date to throw me off course, though. I called up a guy with whom I previously had a series of fun dates and some great sex. After a few drinks and a lot of laughs, I began to wonder why I had cut him off in the first place, but before long his significant lack of maturity began bubbling to the surface and the reasons came rushing back. Fun kid – no future.
Bruised, but not broken, I decided to give the ex-test one more try. Guy number three and I had one unremarkable date over a year ago. Although the date wasn’t very memorable, I did remember that he was cute, mature, educated and employed. I must not have given him a fair chance, so we decided to hang out again and see how it went. After several humorless hours, I was fully reinvested in my belief that nobody deserves a second chance.
Although confused by how my friend had managed to successfully break the break-up rule, I was still happy he had reignited an old fire. Maybe they were the exception to the rule. Maybe their first break up was for the wrong reasons. Whatever the case, they were together and doing their part to restore my faltering belief in “happily ever after – and this time I mean it.”
Then I get the text from my friend: It’s over. Given my jaded views, I shouldn’t have been surprised to read it, but I was. My heart broke right along with his when I found out their resuscitated relationship had once again flatlined. Ironically, the guy broke up with my friend to get back together with his ex. It is small consolation to know it will never last.
