Hello Andreus,

As my subject line says I am old and have been alone most of my entire adult life. I have had a few relationships that have never lasted. As a 56-year-old, I don’t really enjoy going out to bars (most guys see me as a troll). Ones that are looking for someone like me just want to jump, pump, and dump, and I’m not looking for that. I also don’t have a clique of friends (most of my close friends have moved away), and because I am an introvert and enjoy being alone but would like to find someone that would just like to spend time together, movies, dinner, walks on the beach. I find it easier just to do things on my own. I’ve joined clubs, but most are populated by younger guys not interested, or married couples.  Should I seek professional help here?  Or can you suggest some other means of trying to find another person without going to endless bars and feeling like I should have just stayed home. Open to any suggestions.



Dear Chase,

Unfortunately, in the arena of dating and such, it is necessary to put yourself out there in the social scene.  Being an introvert in that regards, is not helpful. There are many different venues, and you might even look into getting involved at your local LGBTQ community center which could open some doors to meeting people.  Believe it or not, you are not alone, but you are definitely going to have to step out of your comfort zone to find what you are looking for. There are also online platforms for dating as well, in which you can enter in specific information to guide you towards your suitable partner.  There are no guarantees, but it could be a step in the right direction. 

Dear Andreus,

The person that I am with is constantly doing things for me, and I feel that I am not doing anything in return, which makes me feel like I am taking advantage of him. He keeps assuring me that I am not taking advantage and that he is fine with how things are going. However, I still feel uneasy with the situation. What should I do?


Anthony G.  

Dear Anthony,

I am not sure what the problem is.  If you have a guy who is doing everything for you and he is telling you that he is fine with that, you have quite the catch.  I understand that for some people, the need to feel that you are equally contributing to a relationship is important. It seems that your partner feels that you are doing enough.  While it may be hard for you to understand, it may truly be enough. Trust your partner. If he is telling you that everything is fine, then don’t try to fix, what is not broken.