On gay dating apps like Grindr, many users have profiles that contain phrases like “I don’t date Black men,” or claim they are “not attracted to Latinos.” Other times they’ll list races acceptable to them: “White/Asian/Latino only.” A recent project by writer Christopher T. Connor explored how gay men justify these comments. The gay men he connected with tended to make one of two justifications. The most common was to simply describe their behaviors as “preferences.” One user explained that his image of his ideal partner was so fixed that he would rather – as he put it – “be celibate” than be with a Black or Latino man. The other way that he observed some gay men justifying their discrimination was by framing it in a way that put the emphasis back on the app. These users would say things like, “This isn’t e-harmony, this is Grindr, get over it or block me.” Responses like these reinforce the idea of Grindr as a space where social niceties don’t matter and carnal desire reigns.

WATCH: This is How Gay Men Justify Their Racism On Grindr