Dear Andreus,

I met a guy on Grindr a few years back. He was from out of town, and we hit it off, so he started to visit me frequently. Something special developed, even though there was no spoken commitment. At some point though, because of distance, we both ended up in relationships with other people. Fast forwarding a couple of years, we are both single again, and have basically picked up where we left off. I have hopes for us, but he is still consumed with his ex. I feel helpless because I want to solidify what we have, but he is distracted by this toxic guy. I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?


Rafael N.

Dear Rafael,

However foolish it may seem sometimes; the heart wants what it wants – even at the expense of logic. I cannot give you any advice that would alter the situation, other than telling you to allow nature to take its course. Everyone must go through their own process and come to their own realizations.  If you interfere in that process, it may not help things turn out in your favor. It is human nature for us to be haunted by “what if,” and for that reason, you should allow him to deal with whatever situation is present in his life. Not to sound cliché, but if it is meant to be it will happen.