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Dear Andreus,

After 5 years of marriage, my husband says he wants a divorce. I am completely blindsided because there have been no signs or issues. I have felt so much love, and we seemed to be doing well. We have built a home together and had even talked about having children.  He came to me out of the blue, and said that he still has love for me, but he doesn’t want to be married anymore. I am devastated to say the least, and of course I don’t want to get a divorce. What should I do?

Gerald M.

Dear Gerald,

I am so sorry to hear about your marriage. Unfortunately, I don’t have a happy solution for you.  The reality is that if he wants to go, let him. The worst possible thing to do, is to try to hold onto to someone who wishes to be set free. It will eventually take its toll on you both, and likely cause irreparable damage both psychologically and emotionally. I know that the idea of the divorce is painful, but best that you separate with the prospects of at least a friendship. The love has shifted, which he stated when he said he has love for you, which is different from being in love with you. Take the experience for what it was, and hopefully there will be even better things ahead.