Dear Andreus,

I have been with my boyfriend for three years now.  We live together and have a pretty functional and trusting relationship.  Recently, he took my credit card and made some purchases, and I did not know about it until I saw it on my card statement.  When I asked him about it, he said that it was not big deal, and that he was going to give me the money back.  I feel like he overstepped, though he doesn’t see it that way.  He said that we have been a couple long enough that it shouldn’t be a problem.  Am I wrong for feeling this way?


Tyrone S.

Dear Tyrone,

You are not wrong for feeling that way. However, if you have not created boundaries before, this might be the issue.  Once a relationship becomes serious and you decide to move in together, there should be a conversation about expectations and boundaries.  It is healthy to share some things, but also have things to yourself.  You might want to have that conversation now to avoid problems in the future.  Communication is key, and delivery of that communication just as important.  Be gentle yet firm and set the boundaries.   Hope this helps.