Dear Andreus,

I have been hooking up with the same guy for a while.  We met on Grindr, and it has always only been a sex thing for me.  We have sex, and then he leaves. The last couple of times he has been hanging around and trying to be a bit more romantic with me.  He keeps hinting at things like wanting a boyfriend, and needing a relationship, but I don’t want that with him. I don’t know what to do.  I love the sex, but he is not the type of guy that I could have a relationship with. Help!


Charlie K.

Dear Charlie,

I think you already know the logical answer. You guys are clearly in two different frames of mind.  You want sex, and he wants more. The longer you engage, the more likely it is that his feelings are going to grow. Also, the longer you let this go on without addressing it, the greater chance there is of you hurting him. This needs to be a conversation sooner than later.  Don’t let your carnal nature cause someone else pain.  Maybe you guys can come to a compromise, otherwise it might be better to just be friends. Better the sting of disappoint, than the wound of heartbreak.