Dear Andreus,

My boyfriend and I have been together for ten years. He keeps telling me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I suggested we get married because I feel the same way, especially after all this time. The problem is that he doesn’t want to get married.  He says that he does not believe in marriage, and it should not change things. For me, I feel like marriage is the next step, and if we are going to spend our lives together then it is a true sign of security. Am I missing something?


Abner S.

Dear Abner,

I agree that it would seem like marriage would be the next step.  However, if he does not believe in marriage, there is nothing wrong with that. Yes, it is a symbol of love and some paperwork – but like anything, there are no guarantees.  People do like that sense of security, but that does not promise a lifetime with someone. Marriages break just like relationships. Though you want marriage, my response is – If it isn’t broke, don’t try to fix it.  Obviously, you guys have something special after ten years. Enjoy it, nurture it.  You already have something that a lot of people are looking for.