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Dear Andreus,

There was recently an incident with my husband’s father.  His parents come to visit once a month.  While my husband and his mother were out grocery shopping, his father stayed behind at the house with me.  He aggressively came onto me, and when I resisted, he made me swear not to tell anyone.  I asked him why, and he told me that he is attracted to men, and to me.  He also said that his wife did not know. Now every time they come to visit, I am uncomfortable, and I don’t know what to do.  I also don’t want to cause problems for my husband’s parents.  Any ideas?

Sincerely,

Sergio S.

Dear Sergio,

I am sorry that you went through that, and I can see how this could make you uncomfortable.  Clearly, this needs to be confronted, unless you plan to live in that discomfort.  I would give him an ultimatum.  Either he confesses, or you spill the beans.  Either way, it was not okay, and regardless of the consequences, he needs to take responsibility for his actions.  Therefore, you can deliver just that way…”Either you say something, or I will,” and let the chips fall where they may.  There is never an excuse for intentionally inappropriate behavior.