Hey Woody,
I love those quizzes you do now and again. Do you have one for sex addicts? I mean, what’s the difference between a tramp and an addict?
– Wanna know
Hey Woody,
I love those quizzes you do now and again. Do you have one for sex addicts? I mean, what’s the difference between a tramp and an addict?
– Wanna know
Dear Wanna,
Ahh, the eternal question every gay man asks of himself: “Am I a Sex Addict or Just a Garden-Variety Whore?” Well, take my quiz and find out.
1. Do you often feel powerless over your sexual behavior?
a. Yes (Points= 4 )
b. No (Points= 2)
c. Often (Points= 3)
d. Only when the hottie ain’t looking my way (Points= 1)
2. The worrisome behavior has been going on for:
a. A few weeks (Points= 2)
b. A few months (Points= 3)
c. A few years (Points= 4)
d. Since the earth started cooling (Points= 1)
3. Have you lost friendships, relationships or jobs because of your sexual escapades?
a. Just the ones that counted (Points= 1)
b. No (Points= 2)
c. I’ve come close (Points= 3)
d. Yes (Points= 4)
4. Have you ever been arrested or put yourself at risk of being arrested for your sexual activities?
a. Yes, but only because I’m the author of “Who Moved My Soap: The Gay Man’s Guide to Surviving in Prison” (Points= 1)
b. No (Points= 2)
c. Yes (Points= 4)
d. I’ve come close (Points= 3)
5. Do you find yourself having to take more and more risks, needing more frequency and variety, to get the same kind of sexual/emotional high?
a. Yes (Points= 4)
b. No (Points= 2)
c. Sometimes. (Points= 3)
d. There just aren’t enough willing fists (Points= 1)
6. Are you keeping secrets about what you’re doing or where you’re going? Do feel like you’re leading a double life?
a. I frequently pretend I’m a top (Points= 1)
b. Yes (Points= 4)
c. No (Points= 2)
d. Starting to (Points= 3)
7. Do you spend more than 11 hours a week in online sex chat rooms or downloading porn?
a. Yes (Points= 4)
b. No (Points= 2)
c. Yes, but only because the guys online are so honest and sincere. (Points= 1)
8. Are you having a hard time paying bills because of the money you’re spending on internet/phone sex or porn?
a. Yes (Points= 4)
b. No (Points= 2)
c. Sometimes (Points= 3)
d. I’ve signed up for so much gay porn my ISP thinks I’m a priest. (Points= 1)
9. Does your sexual behavior give you an incredible high followed by a lonely, despairing crash?
a. Yes (Points= 4)
b. No (Points= 2)
c. Sometimes (Points= 3)
d. Yeah, but it’s the price you pay for being born with a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time. (Points= 1)
Score Assessment
1-9 You call that a problem? I call it a weekday.
10-18 Sex Addict? Please. You’re a garden-variety whore.
19-27 Christ, you’re a hormone on hoofs! If you’re not worrying, START.
28-36 You might be a sex addict. Here’s what you need to do:
1. Find a good sex therapist. Look in the yellow pages or call your mental health insurance carrier for someone in your plan.
2. Attend Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings. Go to their website for more info: www.sexaa.org
3. Read books on the subject. The best one: Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes.
Woody is the author of Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon. Reach him at needwood@mac.com
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