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Hey Woody,

What do you think are the most important things to know about giving good head?

– Wondering

Hey Woody,

What do you think are the most important things to know about giving good head?

– Wondering

The most important thing about giving head? The person you’re giving it to! I mean, really. You don’t want to waste good technique on a guy with a face that could stop a clock.

The three most important factors in giving the kind of head that guys write their moms about is 1) saliva, 2) saliva, and 3) saliva. If you don’t have a sour apple or hard candy, the best way to make your mouth water is to visualize biting into a lemon. Notice the saliva? It’s your body’s way of fighting off the acidity in the mouth (by diluting it).

The next most important thing is your hand. You need to give men four things to make their eyes roll to the back of their head: Friction, pressure, speed and lubrication. So use your hand as an extension of your mouth. Do this: Make a fist and punch yourself in the chest. Your knuckles should be touching your chest, with your thumb facing towards you. That’s your starting position. With your hand in that position twist/stroke on the way down and stroke/twist on the way up. You’re basically doing a corkscrew motion as you wet him with a constant stream of saliva. Your mouth may give you speed but it doesn’t give you pressure. That’s what the hand is for. Then you’ll be faced with the eternal question: spit or swallow. It’s the kind of dilemma nobody minds.

Hey Woody,

What do you think of the new breed of “Hurry Dates” as a possibility for meeting guys? It’s where you get 3 minutes to talk to someone, the bell rings and you move on to the next person. You “score” them on a sheet of paper by writing “yes” and later, if they “yes’d” you too, the hosts give both parties their phone numbers/emails. I’ve been wanting to go but can’t work up the nerve.

– Want but won’t

Dear Want:

Of course you should go! You should go everywhere. True love will fall into your lap but you’ve got to take your lap places. You’ll meet lots of interesting guys. The rules of attraction still apply though. Researchers surveyed participants of a speed dating service and found that men made their “picks” on guess what? Beauty.

“Although they had three minutes, most participants made their decision based on the information that they probably got in the first three seconds,” said Robert Kurzban, a researcher and assistant professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. “Somewhat surprisingly, factors that you might think would be really important to people, like religion, education, and income, played very little role in their choices.”

SOMEWHAT SURPRISINGLY? Oh, please. I don’t know what planet you’re living on, doc, but in the one that has the moon orbiting around it men make their decisions lickety-split.

The study showed that beauty was the biggest predictor of how often a person was selected as a desirable mate. The great thing about this study is the difference in what single people say and do. So yeah, people SAY they want compatibility in character and personality but then go for the heat factor. But then, what else would you expect from a 3-minute encounter?

>>>Woody

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