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Hey Woody,

Someone told me you could avoid HIV if a positive guy comes inside you by taking the HIV cocktail right after it happens. You mean as long as I pop a few pills after I bareback I don’t have to worry about anything?

-Hoping against hope

 

 

Hey Woody,

The moment I met my boyfriend it was love at first sight. We fell deeply in love with each other.

Then he admitted a bombshell: He had a son he had abandoned. One day, he bumped into his son and his ex-wife at the mall. The boy asked his mother, *”Who is this man?”* My boyfriend was devastated and he decided he wanted to be part of his son’s life. But the only way his ex-wife would let that happen (she has full custody) is if he moved in with them. She knows he is gay and that he’s madly in love with me but she doesn’t care. It was her way or the highway. Surprisingly, my boyfriend agreed. He says he still loves me, and I know he does, but basically he abandoned me for her and the kid. I couldn’t convince him that there are other alternatives. He doesn’t have to give in to her, but he does. He still calls me every once in a while and we still end our conversations like we always do…”I love you!”

Woody, I don’t want to give him up. What should I do?

-Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

Without legal rights to the child he has to play by her rules or he doesn’t play at all.

Your boyfriend is in a lose-lose position: Stay with the kid and lose you or stay with you and lose the kid. It’s tragic: the only way he can right a wrong is to wrong a right—you.

Listen, he’s not changing his mind. Know how I know? Cuz he hasn’t cheated. He could have asked you to visit under the witch’s radar but he didn’t.

I know he’s saying, “I love you,” over the phone, but…hey, quit blowing into the hanky and look at me when I’m lecturing you. Never pay attention to what a man says; pay attention to what he does.

He’s made his decision and now it’s time you made yours. That means you call him up and say, “I respect the choice you’ve made and now I’m asking you to respect mine: Our relationship is over. I need to move on and the only way I can do that is to stop all contact with you; at least for a while. I love you, goodbye.”

And then use every blocker you can—call blocks, email blocks, c*ck blocks, that sort of thing. Your heart will break so badly your friends will hear the jingle every time you walk, but you know what? It’s already broken. It’s time to put it back together.

Hey Woody,

Someone told me you could avoid HIV if a positive guy comes inside you by taking the HIV cocktail right after it happens. You mean as long as I pop a few pills after I bareback I don’t have to worry about anything?

-Hoping against hope

Dear Hoping,

Here’s what the new studies by the Centers of Disease Control (CDC) showed: “People at high risk of HIV infection because of their behavior” (a diplomatic phrase the CDC uses for what I call WHORES) show that a two- or three-drug cocktail after possible exposure is likely to prevent infection.

In one trial, gay and bisexual Brazilians “at high risk of HIV Infection” (again, whores, but they’re Brazilian so you know at least they’re gorgeous whores), here’s what happened: Only 1 person in the group that used the cocktail treatment after unprotected sex turned positive, while 11 people in the group that didn’t take the drugs got infected.

This is great news for people who’ve exposed themselves to a high probability of infection. But don’t be an idiot. The “morning after” pills are designed for treatment not prevention. First, it isn’t 100% effective. Second, there’s no logic to it. Using the “morning after” pills to avoid condoms is like women using abortion to avoid birth control. Yuck.

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