Gay Buzzer on Facebook posted on April 3: “Not all heroes wear six packs. Some wear dad bods, some wear plus size pride, and all of them wear it beautifully.” In the worst days of the AIDS crisis, gay men worked out a lot.
The reason was twofold: (1) they wanted to do what they could to remain healthy and strong for as long as possible if they should contract the HIV virus, and (2) they wanted to appear healthy and attractive for as long as possible. HIV was highly stigmatized and still is to some extent, and people didn’t want to seem obviously ill or frail. AIDS can be medically managed now, but still, some gays feel that their entire worth lies in being pretty, and they seem to believe that only washboard abs and big biceps can be pretty.
The Bear community seems to appreciate a bit of girth, and older couples often appreciate growing older and flabbier together, but mostly, for gay men, it’s still a youth and fitness culture. Even when men accept their own bellies, they often still want a partner who looks younger and remains athletic. Maybe gay men can finally learn what lesbians and straight women seem to have figured out long ago: beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, aging isn’t a disease, and seen through the eyes of love real beauty doesn’t fade because it isn’t dependent on youth or slim waistlines.
Skinny or fat, muscle-bound or flabby, tall or short, long locks or shiny scalps…let’s learn to love ourselves, gay men. Let gay pride include our bodies at every stage of life. Be fit because it’s fun or because you think it’s good for you, but don’t do it to make you feel valuable. Your value doesn’t depend on scale.
