Flight Pam Ann Comes to Miami

October 20, 2009

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Fasten your seat belt, stow your designer luggage and prepare for the flight of your life as Pam Ann’s hilarious one-woman comedy show flies into the Colony Theatre (1040 Lincoln Rd) in Miami Fri Oct 23rd (8pm) & Sat Oct 24th (8pm) – No women with perms or men with Arsenio Hall fade cuts allowed.

Features 44 Pam Ann Fasten your seat belt, stow your designer luggage and prepare for the flight of your life as Pam Ann’s hilarious one-woman comedy show flies into the Colony Theatre (1040 Lincoln Rd) in Miami Fri Oct 23rd (8pm) & Sat Oct 24th (8pm) – No women with perms or men with Arsenio Hall fade cuts allowed.

I am coming to the USA to bring fabulousness back to flying,” said Pam Ann at the announcement of the tour. “Southwest is falling apart, Jet Blues landing gear never comes down, Mexicana airlines is grounded due to swine flu. Glamour has been sucked out of the industry like a Qantas 747 losing half its fuselage.”

“There was a time you could board a Boeing in your Dianne Von Furstenberg wrap dress with a full set of carving knives and a 500ml can of VO5,” she continued. “It was always glamour over safety and I believe that’s how it should be.”

PAM ANN’S TOP TEN GAY TRAVEL TIPS

1. Gays must only travel with designer luggage and a lot of it. You have a name to live up to! Also a man bag is a must!
2. Cocktail hour is every hour when traveling abroad, actually in the gay world cocktail hour is every hour anyway so no changes there.
3. A spray tan and a mankini is a must when traveling to Mykonos, Greece
4. One queen at a time in the bathroom cubicle. You don’t want to attract unnecessary attention from the cabin crew.
5. Be sure to upgrade your iPod with Whitney’s latest album.
6. For your bags – and I’m not talking luggage, I am talking the bags under your eyes, bitches! – try my new product PAMAROID crème. It’s a hemorrhoid crème and yes, it’s a real eye opener! Beyonce and Chelsea Handler swear by it.
7. Avoid Ketamin when traveling. I can’t tell you how many times I have caught queens standing, mouth open, tongue out, watching the bags at the carousel for days. It’s shameful.
8. If you are a gay couple going on a gay Atlantis cruise, decide on land if you are going to allow 3 or 4 ways! And whether you have to be with your partner when you do so! Work out the rules before you have an all out argument at immigration.
9. Remember to pack some good hardcore porn and some musicals – you’re gay after all!

10. Always pack Mardi Gras beads. They fit nicely in your bum.

Tickets are available at the box office (305) 674-1040 or at PamAnn-live.com.