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Hey Woody,

Hotspots is a somewhat respectable publication.  Your column however, seems to drag the whole thing down to the gutter.  There are plenty of guys who do not have these bizarre, deranged sexual “problems.” My boyfriend and I are the perfect example of this.All I’m saying is, please gain even the slightest bit of morals.  It would give the publication that employs you, as well as the community, a bit more
respectability.

– Sick of youDear Sick,

Hey Woody,

Hotspots is a somewhat respectable publication.  Your column however, seems to drag the whole thing down to the gutter.  There are plenty of guys who do not have these bizarre, deranged sexual “problems.” My boyfriend and I are the perfect example of this.All I’m saying is, please gain even the slightest bit of morals.  It would give the publication that employs you, as well as the community, a bit more
respectability.

– Sick of you

Dear Sick,

Gosh, if we could all just have what you have–a problem-free, hat-in-the-air Doris Day marriage– this world would be a better place.What sh*t.You have the “perfect example” of a problem-free relationship?  My bet is that you stalked your boyfriend, he panicked, gave in, and now he’s chained
somewhere in the basement.  That’s what guys like you usually mean by having the “perfect” relationship.No one is forcing you to read my column. If I see something on the menu I don’t like, I don’t order it. I don’t complain to the waiter that he shouldn’t have it available for other people. In a world full of choice why is it that idiots like you refuse to make one?

Hey Woody,

I have a friend that swears he had gonorrhea and didn’t know it.  He’s full of sh*t, don’t you think?  How do you not notice the excruciating pain when
you try to pee?

– Is it just me?

Dear Is,

How do you not notice the penile inflammation, the burning while peeing, the yellowish discharges staining your underwear?  Easy.  When you have a perfect relationship like the pinhead that just wrote, anything’s possible.

According to a new survey published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, as many as 5 percent of the population may have gonorrhea and not know it.  It’s possible (though not probable) that you could contract gonorrhea and not experience these symptoms.  That’s why it’s important to get regular STD check-ups if you’re sexually active with multiple partners.

There’s a laboratory test doctors can do in their offices to let you know if you got tagged–the unfortunately named “Gram Stain.”Gonorrhea is easily treated with antibiotics.  It’s important to take all of the medication even if the symptoms stop before all the medication is gone. Gonorrhea can cause permanent damage if you don’t get rid of all of it.

Hey Woody,

I am a bottom and love it.  I always want to make sure that my body is clean on the inside and out before that special man tops me.  I recently installed a hose in my shower to ensure there would be no messy debris when my partner pulls out.  Are there any medical dangers or side effects from cleaning yourself out with water on a regular basis?  I haven’t had any problems but wasn’t sure if there were any unforeseen dangers.

– Squeaky Clean

Dear Squeaky,

No medical harm will come to you from your irrigation project.  The problem with douching the anal canal on a regular basis is that sometimes people start doing it regularly just to have a bowel movement.  That’s okay, too, but it can be quite addicting and eventually you might find that you can’t poop without it.That’s why I gave up reading the National Enquirer on the toilet.  It got to the point where I couldn’t go unless I read about Hilary Clinton’s secret penis.

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