Dear Andreus,

I dated this awesome guy, and though things were great, we decided to separate because our lives are going in different directions. We remain friendly and intertwined in our mutual circles of friends. Recently, one of my friends has been trying to initiate something with my ex, and I feel like that is inappropriate. Some of my friends say that I shouldn’t care since he is my ex, and others say that it is disrespectful. I don’t know if I should say something or not. Any advice?


Carlos M.

Hi Carlos,

This is a sticky situation, simply because some people equate boundaries differently from others. With my friends, we have a code. Anyone that we have dated or are interested in, is off limits to everyone else. This is just built on respect and preservation of our friendship, which is of the utmost importance. I can fully understand why you would be bothered.  I would dare say that as many guys as there are to chose from,  your friend could certainly find someone besides your ex. If you feel as if this is going to negatively affect your friendship, then you might want to say something before it is too late. Just keep in mind, that boundaries mean different things to different people. Hope that helps.

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