Dear Andreus,

I have been long-distance dating someone for about 4 months now.  We talk every day, and he has even expressed an interest in moving to my area so that we can take things up a notch. About two weeks ago, he says to me that he was starting to talk to someone in his area, so I backed off. Now he comes back and says that the guy was not what he expected, and he hopes that we can pick up where we left off. Even though I really like him, I don’t know how to feel about this. What are your thoughts?


Jacob L.

Dear Jacob,

NO, NO, NO. My response to this is absolutely NOT! Basically, you guys had something going on, and clearly it was becoming serious if he was talking about moving.  Then suddenly you are put on hold for someone else. Clearly, you are not a priority.  From my perspective, it is unacceptable to for him to behave this way and then come back as if nothing ever happened. This is a red flag, and an indication of questionable behavior that would likely repeat itself. Suppose he were to move, and you get deeply involved in a relationship. Who’s to say that he would not put you on hold because he met someone else, and then try to come back again. That sounds like the perfect recipe for cheating.  Save yourself the trouble and run!