Dear Andreus,

I have a problem with my husband’s best friend.  He is at our house almost every other day, and he is rude and disrespectful.  My husband is constantly making excuses for him, saying that he is harmless and has an offbeat sense of humor.  I have told my husband how I feel about him and have been struggling with telling him that I don’t want his best friend in our house.  Is it too extreme a request to ask that they hangout elsewhere? What should I do?


Calvin S.

Dear Calvin,

This is a difficult scenario, especially for your husband who will likely feel conflicted with such a strong request.  Talk to your husband, share your thoughts in depth with him. Explain to him why you don’t like his best friend, and maybe ask that he lessen the visits.  It might be a bit much to ask for his friend not to come over at all.  If that is what you wish for the result, you will likely have to ease up on the idea or come to some sort of compromise.  But do not make your husband feel as if he must choose between the two of you. That never turns out well.