Navigating today’s dating world can feel like learning a whole new language, especially with terms like ghosting, breadcrumbing, and swiping left. But one relationship expert says love isn’t out of reach, at any age. Dr. Debra Castaldo, a therapist and author of The Return to Love Playbook, says dating in your 20s should start with one key step: defining your values. While hookups can feel exciting, Dr. Deb warns,
“If you are stuck in a pattern of one-night stands, ask yourself if this behavior is serving you and what the consequences may be not only for you, but for your partners.”
She urges young adults to prioritize emotional safety and courageous conversations around consent and STI testing. In your 30s? It’s about leading with intention. While pressure to settle down may mount, Dr. Deb suggests slowing down and asking, “What’s your vision for life?” Real love takes time. She says that it takes at least a year to get to know the real person.
By your 40s, clarity is key. Be upfront about what you want—casual or committed.
Dr Castaldo emphasizes that most people want a partner who has a mature sense of themselves. In your 50s, she says it’s time to reflect, not panic. Let your past guide your future. And in your 60s and beyond?
She advises being real, saying,
“Inauthenticity is one of the greatest obstacles in relationships at this age.”
Queer elders are often overlooked in both mainstream and LGBTQ spaces, but their stories — and their capacity for joy and companionship — are vital. Whether it’s a new romance or a rekindled flame, love doesn’t retire. Some of you may ask how the online apps play into this? Dating apps have revolutionized queer dating by offering visibility, access, and community — especially in places where LGBTQ people may feel isolated. But they also come with challenges: bias, safety concerns, and emotional fatigue. Dr. Deb’s decade-by-decade advice reminds us that no matter how we meet — online or off — the most important relationship we build is with ourselves first. Her bottom line? No matter your age, the best relationship starts with honesty, self-awareness, and staying open to connection. For more on this story, visit Stacker.com. And remember, love is love, at every age.
