The book, Choosing Love: What LGBTQ+ Christians Can Teach Us All About Relationships, Inclusion, & Justice by Dawne Moon and Theresa W. Tobin is based on over 100 interviews with LGBTQ+ Christians leading the authors to decide that queer folk are not a problem to be solved, but rather sources of wisdom who can teach all Christians valuable lessons about faith, inclusion, and justice.
The authors note that conservative evangelical churches often view LGBTQ+ individuals as having a “disordered” capacity for love, which leads to shame. However, many interviewees recounted powerful transformational experiences, realizing they were not “broken” and learning to separate the unconditional love of Jesus from the harmful teachings of some Christians.
The book highlights the challenges faced by those who remain in non-affirming spaces, including compartmentalization and being subjected to constant scrutiny, such as mandated celibacy. In contrast, many others found peace through what they felt was God’s direct affirmation that they were made “just as they are.” These LGBTQ+ Christians are claiming ownership of their faith traditions, with some creating new affirming communities and others patiently working for change within their existing churches.
A central theme is the necessity of uniting love and justice. The authors argue that genuine love requires treating others as if they matter, and being complicit in systemic oppression nullifies any claim to love. They also propose a concept of healthy pride—a recognition of one’s inherent worthiness of love, which acts as a protective shield against dehumanizing narratives. Furthermore, the experience of being marginalized has made many LGBTQ+ people more compassionate and willing to ally with other groups fighting systemic injustice. Ultimately, the book calls for a fundamental shift in how people relate, emphasizing humility, active listening, and a commitment to systemic love and justice.
