On paper – and in the pages of the many European magazines in which he frequently appears – Raph Solo seems to have it all: good looks, a successful recording career, and, oh yes, his killer body.
Flying Solo: Raph Solo Takes Control of His Life and Music
In Honor of National Coming Out Day (October 11) and of California’s ban on Reparative therapy of LGBT Minors.
On paper – and in the pages of the many European magazines in which he frequently appears – Raph Solo seems to have it all: good looks, a successful recording career, and, oh yes, his killer body.
However, as an artist whose music often reflects his life’s journey, Solo has been open about his many struggles. He recently revealed how he underwent reparative therapy in an attempt to cure his homosexuality.
It was after he lost the man of his dreams. Solo says he felt hopeless and questioned if it was even possible for a man to find love with another man. He wondered if maybe it might be easier to find it with a woman.
He followed the reparative steps, first abstaining from sex for six months, then forcing himself to engage in intimacy with women.
Of course, it didn’t work. But it’s a road Solo says he had to travel and if nothing else, it eventually led him to discover his true self. He sings about it in his new single, Brand New Dime, out this month.
One would think someone like you – who obviously won the looks lottery – would love being gay.
Raph Solo: There is too much emphasis on physical aesthetics in our community. While I admit that I, too, am a great admirer of it, I think our community would be stronger if we appreciated more than what meets the eye.
Why did a break-up make you want to give up on men?
I freaked out. I’m monogamous by nature and I guess I couldn’t understand why a guy who was willing to put so much into making his relationships work was being dumped all the time. I started to think maybe I was being punished.
What made you think reparative therapy was the solution?
I stumbled across reparative therapy online. I read about ex-gays who were in long-term relationships with women. I thought I should try it.
Why did reparative therapy not work for you?
Because Roberto and Roberta are not the same. It was about my sixth month into abstinence when I ran into a guy I had been with in the past and I became all flushed with fever. Even after all the mental programming exercises I had done, I never felt this way with a girl.
Do you think reparative therapy can work for anyone?
I can only speak for myself. It didn’t work for me.
What would you say to a gay man who wishes to try turning himself straight?
If you need to find out for yourself who you really are, follow your heart. Just don’t forget that God loves you the way you are and you don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel right for you.
What’s next?
I am recording my next album in the studio later this year. There is also a book in the pipeline, my memoirs, where I will talk about my relationships openly and candidly.
You are someone who likes to share and bare all.
It’s important to share your experiences. It might make someone else’s life – someone dealing with similar issues – a little easier. You never know who you might help along the way.
Raph Solo’s FINALLY and “Brand New Dime” are available on iTunes. Follow Raph Solo on Twitter at twitter.com/RAPHSOLO.
